Fortified with lunch, we set off down the flight, swapping Joshie minders as we went. The locks looked like they’d been there for ever, built of big stone blocks that would probably look as perfect as the day they were made if the green slime was cleaned off. I know they were originally built as a means of getting cargo moved cheaply and weren’t supposed to be the monuments that they are, but we really should treat them with respect for the folk that built them and the boaters that used them. It was annoying when we crossed with a hired boat with a mixed “crew” who all seemed pretty drunk. We said to be careful as we saw them drift towards the top gate which, on this flight, has a paddle in the gate rather than two ground paddles. I did wonder why they built the culverts for the ground paddles but when you see the water rushing out of the gate onto a boat that’s too close, you realise why canal hardware needs to be treated with respect. I guess that’s why being a proper boater required skill. Suggesting a quickie to Ella, Casey, me or all three of us is definitely not part of that skill set, so I’m afraid we grassed them up to the hirers. The worst part for us was that the drunks had managed to drain a pound further down, meaning we had to phone the trust. We didn’t want to try fixing it ourselves and causing more damage. Frances, who answered, was happy to listen and, when Casey gave the name of the boat, she recognised it.
“Doing another award this year?” she asked.
That prompted the story of the three of us heading to the Bank Top gathering along with my status as a sort of political exile.

An hour later the repair team arrived during which time we had a visit from a police officer who asked us about the incident, then headed off to question the crew of the hire boat.
“Right mess they’ve made,” Andy from the repair team, said. “They’ve gone and sunk their boat two locks up and all. Lucky they didn’t drown themselves.”
“It’d sober them up I a bit guess,” Ella laughed.
“We’ll get you down, but we’ll have to temporarily close the flight. We’ll have to use the overspills and just carefully raise the levels over a few hours. If we’re not done by the end of the day we’ll see you down the rest of the locks tomorrow,” Andy smiled.
“Tayo,” Joshie smiled, having sensed that the guys were helping us.
“He’s a cracker of a lad that one,” Andy replied.
Cue another telling of the story, and a few hours waiting for the pound to gradually fill up. Whilst this was all going on, we brewed several coffees for the team, and made them sandwiches. With them being mixed we felt safe inviting everyone aboard. The galley was a little snug with eight plus a toddler but we had a pleasant time chatting to them about waterways and our interest in them. I told them about Uncle Jim and Auntie Amanda’s little boat “Mayfly” and how she’d been rescued by Jim, also Auntie Vera’s narrowboat and, guess what. Frances knew of them.
“So you’re from a legendary group of canal people,” she smiled.

It took the rest of the day for the pound to fill, and we stopped for the night where we were. Pretty much exactly on time, two of the team turned up and helped us through the rest of the locks for what would have been our day's run. They asked us if we needed help through the tunnel but we’d read that it was quite wide, if a bit on the low side, so they headed off again. It’s always good to have a chat with other people, but Ella, Casey and I liked sharing our time with little Joshie too, who had amused the team with being quite vociferous in his charming little way. We were mulling over the idea of canal festivals when we came to the rather odd looking tunnel. In the distance it looked like a bridge, but as you got closer it was definitely a tunnel, wide and with a low roof. In contrast, the next one was going to be pretty narrow. Before we got there we were passing the yard that had hired the boat out when someone on the towpath called and waved for us to stop off. Not being in much of a hurry, we followed her directions to one of the jetties, and were ushered into the office.
“I want to say how sorry we are for the incident yesterday,” the woman (who had hailed us) said. “We will be far more careful vetting the people we hire to in future.”
“We got a bit or rudeness from them, that's all” I said. “You and the repair team got the worst of it.”

We’d seen the bedraggled boat sat on blocks in the yard and it was in a really sorry state.
“Needs a complete refit,” the manager frowned. “We won’t get nearly enough back from the insurance to cover it. Still that’s our problem. I hope you won’t think we’re trying to buy you off, but we’ve got a few bits and pieces as a gift from us. And something for your lovely little boy too. Absolutely no strings attached.”
“Thanks,”Casey smiled. “We weren’t going after you for anything. Not your fault the people were so tanked up when they got to us.”
What the hirers did for us was to top up our diesel tank, emptied the toilet cassette (horrible task), filled our water and gave us a hamper of rather nice treats. For Joshie they had bought a soft toy of a narrowboat made of a good quality cotton. He loved it.
“Tayo,” he smiled, his eyes saying far more than the words could.

Autumn has well and truly arrived, bringing us the celebration of the harvest and all the wonderful produce that it provides.

Those earthy smells, magical twilight hours and beautiful colours, remind us that boating keeps us very much in tune with the seasons and the ever changing picture of our surroundings.

Enjoying Autumn walks with my dog Rosie, I’m often on the lookout for useful bits and bobs, be it kindling, pine cones and foliage, or berries and fruits, they all have their good uses. It’s mushroom season too!

The hedgerow berries have also been put to good use, some of my recipes can be found in previous Autumn articles.

Now it’s time for apples, I’m sure we’ve all had our first crumble of the year, there is nothing finer than a comforting homemade crumble with custard! I’ve got a lovely cake recipe using apple with cheese along with a few other ideas.

A tip for those apples as you prepare them to avoid discolouration, immerse in a bowl of cold water with a good tablespoon or more of lemon juice.

I’ve also made pear jam again this year, it’s a simple method of half quantity sugar to fruit, ½ tsp mixed spice, simmered slowly for at least 90 minutes until smooth and boiled until setting point reached, skim off foam and spoon into sterilised jars.

It has to be the ultimate warm and hearty feeling of satisfaction, to watch the fire and enjoy good food after a few hours out in the fresh air.

Here are some of my favourite Autumn recipes, along with some one pot dishes, my trusty base curry recipe and some ideas for using pumpkins. Slow is the secret for many curries, so if you’ve got a Cobb cooker don’t put it away yet, it’s the perfect way to get your curries going and may just attract new friends!

SAUTÉED MUSHROOMS WITH SWEET APPLE AND WALNUT ON SOURDOUGH

Use chestnut mushrooms if you can for a good nutty taste and Cox’s sweet apples.

For the dressing: 4 tbsp crème fraiche, 2 tbsp white or red wine vinegar, 1 tsp Dijon mustard, pinch salt and pepper, combine the ingredients together.

Add a few freshly chopped chives or parsley (if you have them) before serving.

Prepare 2 apples by quartering, peeling and slicing.

Slice and sauté 8 to 12 mushrooms in a dash of oil, season and add the sliced apples and a knob of butter just to warm the apples through.

Thickly slice the bread into 4 pieces and lightly toast or pan fry.

Top with the mushrooms and apples, a few walnut pieces and the dressing to serve.

WHOLEMEAL SAUSAGE AND APRICOT ROLL

This recipe uses part wholemeal flour and reduced fat sunflower spread for a healthier option.

For the pastry
225g flour, wholemeal or half and half with plain
140g reduced fat sunflower spread
1 tsp poppy seeds
Rub the flour and the spread together to resemble fine breadcrumbs and then stir in 2 tbsp cold water and a pinch of salt, bring together to form a dough and wrap tightly and chill for 20 minutes.

For the sausage-meat filling
450g lean minced pork (or use herbed sausages, squeeze the meat out of the casings)
1clove garlic, very finely chopped
1 large cooking apple cut into small pieces or grated
75g dried apricots, finely chopped
½ tsp dried (or fresh) herbs such as sage or mixed, if using plain sausagemeat
½ tsp each salt and pepper.

Preheat the oven to 220/gas 7.
Roll out the pasty on a floured surface to form a rectangle (about 25 x 30cm) to fit onto a greased/lined baking sheet. Trim to shape if necessary.
Combine all the filling ingredients and squeeze together to form an oblong shape to sit over the pastry.
Brush the edges with cold water and fold over, press firmly to seal.
Score the top to make a lattice, then lightly brush with water and sprinkle the poppy seeds over.
Bake for 25-30 minutes until the pastry is golden.
Serve warm or cold as a ploughman’s lunch with pickles, tomatoes and a chunk of cheese.

I use lots of fresh lemons and limes in my recipes, and sometimes get caught out when I haven’t any fresh ones in. It’s only recently that I’ve discovered supermarket convenience citrus juices, like those we used to buy for pancake day, they work out much cheaper, although they do have preservatives added, but nonetheless are very useful to keep in.

PINK PICKLED ONIONS A lovely accompaniment to the sausage and apricot roll.

1 red onion, finely sliced
2 limes, juiced, or 2-3 tbsp shop bought lime juice
pinch salt
Combine the onion with the salt and lime juice, leave to pickle in the fridge overnight. The acidity will draw the colour and turn everything into a lovely pink colour.

HARVEST PORK CASSEROLE This is an easy one pot satisfying meal, makes plenty to keep in the fridge for a few days or freeze for another day.

4 Pork shoulder steaks (or boneless leg approx. 600g)
1 celery stick,
1 carrot, onion and leek, all roughly chopped
1-3 potatoes, depending on size, cut into small pieces
1 garlic clove, peeled and crushed
1 tbsp fennel seeds, ground in pestle and mortar or spice grinder
1 tbsp each ground cumin and coriander
2 tbsp plain flour
300 ml chicken or vegetable stock
300 ml cider or apple juice
2 small sweet apples salt and pepper to season

Batch fry the pork in a little oil in the casserole pot and set aside. Then add the onion and garlic to the pot to gently fry for a couple of minutes, add the spices and stir in the flour. Turn the heat right down, add the stock and cider, then add the pork back to the pot, followed by all the vegetables, apple and seasoning. Nestle the meat down under the liquid, cover and cook low and slow in a moderate oven or over the stove for about an hour. Check the meat for tenderness, depending on the cut, continue to cook for another half hour or so.

Serve with greens such as cabbage or kale.

CRUMBLY APPLE AND WENSLEYDALE CAKE

This is an easy bake, delicious when served warm, it’s moist, sweet and tangy with the perfect combination of ingredients.

575g apples
175g self-raising flour tsp baking powder
75g light brown sugar
50g each raisins and sultanas
50g Brazil nuts or walnuts roughly chopped
2 eggs
90ml sunflower oil
225g Wensleydale cheese
Sprinkling icing sugar to finish

Grease and base line a 9 inch loose bottomed tin or flan dish.
Peel, core and thinly slice the apples.
Sift the flour and baking powder into the bowl. Stir in the sugar, raisins, sultanas, nuts and apples. Mix well to combine.
Beat the eggs with the oil and add to the dry ingredients, thoroughly combine.
Turn half the mixture into the prepared tin, crumble the cheese over the top, then spoon the rest of the mixture over and spread to the edges of the tin.
Bake at 180/gas 4 for about 50 minutes, checking and turning after 25 mins, until just firm in the centre. Allow to cool slightly before turning out. Enjoy warm, sprinkled with icing sugar.

LEEK AND CHEESE BREAD AND BUTTER PUDDING
A savoury take on a good old fashioned recipe!

6 – 8 slices wholemeal sliced bread
1 tbsp each of butter and Dijon mustard
1or 2 (depending on size) leeks, trimmed and finely sliced
50g jarred sun dried tomatoes (or use fried bacon pieces for a non-veggie version) 250ml milk
3 eggs
85g grated cheddar cheese

Trim the crusts off the bread (save for a savoury crumble or stuffed veg topping)
Melt the butter and stir in the mustard, spread over the bread slices and make into sandwiches.
Cut in half and arrange tightly together in the base of a buttered ovenproof dish.
Gently sauteé the leeks in a little oil or butter and arrange over the bread with the chopped tomatoes or bacon.
Whisk the milk with the eggs and pour over the dish, allow to soak for 30 minutes.
Heat the oven to 190/gas5.
Sprinkle the grated cheese on top and bake for 25-30 minutes until golden and risen.

Not to waste those crusts, they are the perfect topping for a pumpkin tray bake, stuffed vegetables, or a cauliflower and broccoli gratin. Whatever your base of vegetables, just add a creamy cheese sauce and top with those breadcrumbs and a few broken pieces of walnut and extra cheese! Bake in the oven or finish under the grill for an extra crispy top.

PUMPKINS

Pumpkins are in season from now until November and have lots of uses other than the messy job of carving out for lanterns, best bought after Halloween when they are a bargain! Ideas run from chutney to tagines, soup, curries, casseroles, pancakes, risottos, sweet pastry pies, the list goes on.

Nothing beats a good warming, thick and wholesome soup. Here’s a version using orange zest for an extra twist.

PUMPKIN AND ORANGE SOUP A quicker method by boiling the pumpkin instead of roasting in the oven.

1 medium pumpkin, peeled, de-seeded and chopped into small pieces
1 tsp finely grated orange zest
juice from 1 small orange
1 onion and 1 carrot finely chopped
1 tsp caster sugar
1 inch ginger finely chopped
1½ pint vegetable stock
salt and pepper to taste
2 tbsp crème fraiche, yoghurt or cream (optional) to finish

Gently fry the onion in a dash of oil until it starts to soften, add the carrot, pumpkin, ginger, stock and orange. Simmer with the lid on for about 20 minutes.
Allow to cool slightly, then blitz to a smooth consistency.
Return to the pan and check for seasoning adding salt and pepper to taste.
Stir in crème fraiche if using.
For an extra twist to finish, sprinkle with freshly chopped chilli or dried flakes and a few roasted pumkin seeds.

PUMPKIN RISOTTO WITH HAZELNUT BUTTER

Hazelnut butter (can be made ahead and kept in the fridge)

25g skinned hazelnuts, gently toasted for a few minutes until golden brown. If you can’t get skinned, dry toast skin on nuts in a pan and then rub together between your fingertips to remove the skins, not to worry if they don’t all come off.
60g butter
1 tbsp parsley (finely chopped fresh or use dried)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Finely chop the hazelnuts when cool and combine with the softened butter, parsley and seasoning.
Spoon onto a piece of baking paper or cling film and roll up into a tight sausage shaped roll, keep in fridge until needed.

For the risotto

450g pumpkin, peeled, de-seeded and diced
25g butter 85g onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
110g Arborio risotto rice
330ml hot vegetable stock
Finely grated zest of ½ orange
25g freshly grated parmesan
Salt and pepper to taste

Melt the butter in a pan and gently fry the onion until soft but not brown.
Add the diced pumpkin and simmer for 5 to 10, until just beginning to soften, without overcooking.
Add the garlic and rice and stir round the pan to combine the ingredients.
Now add the stock one ladle at a time, ensuring each addition is absorbed before adding the next, this takes about 20 minutes.

The risotto is ready when the rice is creamy but still has a bite, depending on how accurate your quantities are, you may need to use more or less stock.
Stir in the orange zest, parmesan and seasoning to taste, top with slices of the hazelnut butter to serve.

STICKY GINGERBREAD

150g preserved stem ginger in syrup, plus 3tbsp syrup from the jar
1 large cooking apple (about 225g)
125g black treacle
125g golden syrup
175g dark muscovado sugar
175g unsalted butter
225g plain white flour
125g wholemeal flour
1tsp ground mixed spice
1 ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda
2 eggs

Grease and line a 7 inch square cake tin, use 2 small loaf tins if you don’t have one. Peel core and quarter the apple, then stand in a bowl of cold water with a squeeze of lemon juice to prevent discolouration.
Put the treacle, syrup and sugar in a pan and add the butter, gently melt and allow to cool to slightly.
Sift the flours, mixed spice and bicarbonate of soda into a bowl. Grate ¾ of the apple into the bowl and toss into the flour mixture.
Add the melted syrup mixture, eggs and ¾ of the ginger pieces, beat well to combine. Turn the mixture into the prepared tin, spreading into the corners.
Using a potato peeler to thinly slice the remaining apple, scatter the slices and the remaining ginger over the top of the gingerbread and press down lightly into the mixture using a the back of a spoon.
Bake at bout 160 to 170/gas 3 for about 1 hour until just firm and slightly springy to touch.
Leave to cool in the tin, then turn out onto a wire rack and drizzle the ginger syrup over the sponge.

Gingerbread will keep for a week in an airtight container and is best stored for a few days before eating to allow the flavours to develop.

My intentions for every article are to share some curry recipes and as usual I overrun the space allocation! So here’s just a quick taster of my basic curry sauce below. One useful tip is to have a ginger and garlic paste available, I make my own from simply peeling and equal quantities of fresh ginger and garlic, blitzed in a blender or pestle and mortar with just enough water to make a smooth paste. Store in an air-tight container in the fridge or freeze as individual ice cube sizes. It’s such a handy thing to have at the ready for curries and stir fries etc. Chilli paste can be made in a similar way.

Tandoori chicken or vegetables are a favourite with this sauce, simply marinate whatever you’re using, be it chicken or vegetables, with tandoori masala spices, a squeeze of lemon juice and natural yoghurt. Fry in a little oil and add the base sauce.

BASE CURRY SAUCE

As this is a slow process, when the weather permits, I will use the Cobb cooker for this one and other curries, the added bonus is that the boat doesn’t smell of curry for days!

4 or 5 onions, depending on size, roughly chopped
100ml rapeseed oil, add a little more to the pan if needed
1carrot (about 60g) roughly chopped
½ each of red and green pepper, roughly chopped
1 tin tomatoes, or 3tbsp tomato pureé with water
3 tbsp ginger and garlic paste (see above)
1tbsp each of garam masala, ground cumin, ground coriander, paprika
½ tbsp ground fenugreek (optional, don’t worry if you don’t have it)
2 tsp ground turmeric

Place the prepared onion in a large pan, add the salt and oil. Stir well and add the remaining vegetables, the ginger and garlic paste and enough water just to cover. Simmer very gently for about 45 minutes, until the vegetables are soft and the liquid reduced. Add the remaining ingredients and a little more water if required, give a good stir, cover and continue to simmer for about 30 minutes. Skim off any surplus oil from the top if you like, save for frying when making your choice of curry. Allow to cool slightly and blend to a smooth consistency, if too thick add a little water or stock. Can be used immediately, stored in the fridge for a few days or frozen.

I hope you enjoy trying some of these recipes out, have a wonderful Autumn season and we’ll catch up again in December. In the meantime, do look back on previous articles for other recipes, or follow me on my Facebook page Canal Cuisine. You can either contact me through my page or by email.

We've spent a significant part of this year on the Leeds-Liverpool Canal; we went up the Wigan Flight in February and came down in July.

We cruised up to Stanley Ferry on the Aire Navigation, turned around and came back the same way.

During our time on this canal,  we noticed a significant deterioration in lots of ways. Obviously, the seasons changed during our time there and moorings we'd enjoyed heading towards Leeds were totally overgrown as we headed back towards Wigan making it impossible to get into the bank.

The Bingley Five Rise locks were leaking so much more on our return journey and it was entirely due to the CRT Volunteers that we were able to manage the flight safely and without incident.

Most of the locks along the canal take some managing as paddles are often broken and water levels are difficult to manage.

When we came down the Wigan Flight in July, there had been an issue between CRT and the regular volunteers on the flight, so there was no one to highlight the problems to look out for.

We did have a very frightening situation where the button fender on the bow got caught on a gate and we very nearly sunk...not an experience we ever want to repeat.

The Leeds-Liverpool is such a lovely canal with so much to recommend it and so many great places to visit, but if it isn't better maintained in the future, I feel it'll become a 'ghost' canal.

We've spoken to many people who've said 'never again' when talking about Wigan and it seems such a shame. We know the financial difficulties CRT are facing, but it's clear the north is falling behind in terms of maintenance.

What happened to levelling up?

Keats’ description of Autumn brings to mind a rich image and a distinct feeling, with the growing chill in the air, the earthy scent of leaves underfoot and the rich colours of the trees, hedgerows and fields.

Inevitably, the less barriers that you have between yourself and nature, the more you will see the changes that happen as the seasons move from one to another. Living, or spending time, on a boat, puts you in almost direct contact with the environment as you navigate your way along canal or river.

The term “Autumn” has been with us since the 1300s. “The fall”, which I always consider as particularly American, was, in fact, in common use in England until the end of the 1600s. The “falling” and “springing” of the leaves were physical changes that measured the seasons for our forebears.

Autumn is a time of change. The colours of the leaves and fruits on trees, along with the crops in the fields, create a tapestry across the landscape. Vincent van Gough said, “As long as Autumn lasts, I shall not have hands, canvas and colours enough to paint the beautiful things I see. (1) In truth, this beauty is a sign of shorter, colder days, which themselves presage a time when nature will sleep.

The falling of the leaves, the gathering in of the harvest and that period of rest are all necessary to make space for new growth in the coming spring. In the same way, for us, we may need to reflect the changes of the seasons, to be ready for what next year brings.

(1)Letter from Vincent van Gough to Theo van Gogh. Arles, c.26 September 1888.

I thought you were getting frisky
When you rolled on me in the night
But the mattress was on a slant
When our mooring ropes went tight

We moonwalked down the boat
Then tried our best to dress
It's hard to put a leg in a pant
Whilst you're leaning to the left

Breakfast was quite a challenge
Cooking on a tilted vessel
What with our sausages rolling
And a sliding boiling kettle

The shower drain doesn't
Nor does the kitchen sink
We've gone all Brahms and Liszt
But we haven't had a drink

Our cupboard doors are wide open
With all our wares on show
We're sitting on the canal bed
No longer in the flow

We'll have to dance for rain
For we really are quite stuck
It's most discombobulating
All this wallowing in the muck

So when you leave a lock
Shut your gates and paddles tight
And ladies won't get squashed
By their husbands in the night

A year ago we were moored almost in exactly the same spot we have just arrived at, Pangbourne Meadow, on the river Thames. It is beautiful, even on a cloudy, drizzly day.

What a difference a year makes. Our plan in September 2023 was to travel to Lechlade, arrive on the K&A at Newbury in early November, where we would winter until April 2024. We would travel to Bristol and back before the busy summer season, hoping to avoid too many hire boats and lack of moorings. Other plans were afoot?

Unbeknownst to us our boat had a rusty diesel tank, dirty fuel and the engine repeatedly cut out on the Thames, which was a little unsettling. We limped onto the K&A in mid October, just as the red boards started to appear. Fortunately we made it to Newbury by the end of October, little thinking it would be late May before the River Kennet came off those boards! We still had time to hotfoot it to Bristol before the summer holidays, except a lorry went into the canal and our journey was further delayed!

So here we are Sept 2024 back where we started but do we mind? Not a bit! The joy of this journeying is to accept the lack of control that we have over unforeseen circumstances and to live in the moment. Very much like life itself. Any belief that we are in control is misguided. None of us knows what. tomorrow holds, so it makes sense to try and make the most of the time that we have and to be prepared for the unexpected.

I sometimes reflect that we are so busy living this life, that many neglect to consider the life to come. Yet eternity is eternal and our earthly life is fleeting in comparison. We may care well for our physical and mental needs with good food, exercise and friends as therapy but it might just be worth attending to our spiritual needs too.

We are physically back in the same mooring twelve months later, but I truly feel our spiritual life is in a different place- the people we have met, the experiences we have had, have helped shape us, grow us and enrich us by opening our eyes and hearts to the good that is around.

May that be possible for all others who seek it too.

Please visit my website if you wish to read more or to connect with me.

Mike, not his real name, had all the euphoria of a new skipper; he’d asked if I’d look at his engine, which was giving him some trouble but couldn’t resist showing off his new boat. “Only cost me seven grand - a bargain!”

It certainly was a bargain but I knew the history of this boat, the Nevando. Irish Jim had bought it, about a decade ago, for a thousand pounds, cheaply bought, for it had only recently been dragged up from the depths of the Worcester and Birmingham. “We’re taking it to Stoke.” Mike explained, I wished him luck, sincerely, doubting it would ever reach Stoke and, recalling uneasily that the most famous Captain to come from Stoke-on-Trent was Edward J. Smith of the Titanic, but I dismissed my fears as undue pessimism and asked “Have you had it surveyed?” “Nah—four hundred quid for the crane, can’t afford it.” I saw Mike three days later, when he pulled up beside me in his van with a face bent on murder. “Boat sank in Selly Oak. Seven grand - gone! What a rip off!”

His language, appropriate to his dismay, was a good deal more colourful and the murderous look in his face made me feel uncomfortable. Later, I heard, he stormed the snug of The Crown pub and vented his wrath with the same colourful language he described the sinking to me minutes before, which, so I was later told, resulted in Irish Jim ‘pontificating and looking sheepish,’ while Mike, ejected from the pub remained ‘an extremely angry man outside.’

The chain of ownership was complicated. Irish Jim had lived on the Nevando for several years, the boat was static, remaining at Orchard moorings in Alvechurch for the best part of a decade. Then the landowner decided property development was more lucrative than narrowboats and promptly ejected the boats from his land. Irish Jim (so called for his work in the troubles as a double agent identifying IRA sympathizers for British, or so the legend goes) applied for, and was granted an alms house by the parish council. I was moored beside the Nevando for some time and met the first, unfortunate, new owner, a young lad, called Bill, albeit only once. He’d purchased the Nevando from Irish John for £10,000, no doubt as a project boat with a view for selling it on as a profit. Realizing the Nevando was a hopeless case, the hull was pitted, holed, and hadn’t seen a lick of Bitumen in years, he then sold it on to Mike for £7000, no doubt rueing his three grand loss; the third sale of the boat within six months.

When I asked Liz Sollars, CRT officer for the Midlands, about the wreck she did not attempt to keep the exasperation from her voice but remained tight lipped, “It will all come out in the wash.” Due process had not been followed. Mike had bought, and sunk the boat, without being registered as the new owner, a real headache for Liz. A captain who loses their ship must expect a court martial. In this instance I can only feel sorry for Bill and Mike, who inherited Nevando, and its insuperable problems from Irish Jim. Yes; they should have had the boat surveyed before full purchase, yes, they were naive and cutting corners, and if anything it serves as a salutary lesson in the value of a survey.

For me, the real villain of the piece is Irish Jim. He knew the hull was damaged, perhaps beyond repair. He had his alms house. He had his pension. There was a marina just two hundred yards away from his mooring where he could easily have taken the Nevando and sold it for scrap, and, with rising steel prices, would still have made a profit on his £1000,even for scrap value. Motivated by greed he sold that death trap of a boat for maximum profit to buyers, naïve and greedy, but in doing so, endangered lives. What good fortune that the Nevando sank in Selly Oak. It was January, the water was below freezing and, with the two miles of Wast Hill tunnel in-between, I dread to think what would have happened if she foundered there.

A few days later I paid a visit to Selly Oak, expecting to see the wreck of the Nevando, waterlogged, listing and abandoned but was surprised to find her, engine thumping, the bilges spewing water, and Mike aboard, fiddling with the wiring. “I’ve had to re-float her several times. Kids keep coming along cutting the wiring and she sinks again.” The trouble with sinking, is one cannot chose where to sink and may end up in a less than salubrious district. “I’m still gonna get her to Stoke,” Mike elaborated, “Well, I’ve got to.”

I’m not sure whether to put this down to determination or desperation. Mike, intending to live-aboard this vessel, and having no-where else to live other than his van, or at least, as far as I could tell, wasn’t going to give up on his investment easily. I at least admired his optimism. Buy cheap, buy twice, and it never does to cut corners with boats, especially if you intend to make them your home. With narrowboats in such demand at present, I fear stories like Mike’s may become increasingly common. My only hope is that this tale of the wreck of the Nevando serves as a salutary tale. Buyers Beware.

A couple of weeks later, I received a brief message from Tina, Mike’s partner which read simply; ‘We made it to Stoke.’ A happy ending, I hope, and given the state of the Nevando, I hoped it had been hauled up onto a hard standing, like an in-movable, beached whale; Never again to travel but never again to sink

I’ve been bitten badly in the leg and it is taking its time to heal. It was also incredibly painful, swelled quickly and made me feel quite nauseous for a while. The suspect a spider! A false widow to be more exact, from what I could work out from its mangled remains. I don’t mind spiders. I don’t go into panic mode when I see them, but just to give a flavour of how I feel let’s give this article a catchy acronym: Big Roaming Spider Territory Deterrents.

Did you know there are 650 types in the UK of which 12 can inflict a bite on a human? The false widow being most feared, followed by the garden and the cupboard. So that’s three we can find on board before we get past the galley. OK what to do? I made a school boy error years ago by using a direct killer from a well know brand – what I wasn’t expecting was the cockpit vinyl windows to age twenty years in a week and after that I never tried it again. So we are going organic and using a mixture of incense sticks (because I found some in charity shop going cheap) and tea tree oil, although peppermint apparently also works, as does half a lemon. This is after first giving all the cracks and crevasses a good hoovering out and, more importantly, emptying the hoover immediately as I’ve seen them crawl back out of the nozzle. Having said that, years ago I was complaining about cluster flies.

On with the show and it’s been a good summer cruising about– usually from pub to pub or tearoom and I will admit to pushing the old tub hard on a few Sunday afternoons to make it in time for a coffee and a pasty. As I have got older, I have realised that I am less agile, and the canal can be a lonely place. We shy away from thinking about safety because it’s rammed down our throat by every corporation’s, “It’s our number one priority!” And the boat safety doesn’t cover the most obvious danger - us!

So here is my over 60s list...

• Boarding ladder essential always have it down when cruising, I don’t think I could pull my self back on board up the hull any more.

• Deck-harness and two lanyard clips when using ladders in a lock, OK its slower, but an incident in Semington made me think! Hitting my own deck from 10 foot wouldn’t be good.

• Windlass, belt clip and lanyard – nothing worse than trying to climb a ladder with one in your hand.

• Drop the canopy!! I used to be able to enter and exit through roll up doors quite easily. Now I find its far easier just to step into the cockpit.

• Engine shut off, especially in the locks – I find this odd because on level 2 powerboats we must wear a lanyard that kills ignition if we leave helm. Anyway, I saw a boat leave Seend top lock by itself as its owner caught the rope around the morse lever.

• Life jacket – I never used to wear one then I started wearing self-inflatables which also have harness points built in.

• Centre mooring cleat, mine is lashed through the two handrails but a rope in centre makes handling so much easier on your own.

• Last but not least and we all carry one but never use it, the boat hook with one modification, the handle has been drilled out so you can attach it to your boat. I’ve even become a dab hand at being able to loop a rope onto a bollard with the hook and not leave the boat.

Improvement of the year is having one-way valves on the bilge pumps, this keeps a certain amount of water in the exit pipe so when you start the pump it has something to push against and stops that cavitation you get with impeller pumps and also stops what’s left in the pipe from falling back into the boat.

The second improvement is ditching the large batteries in favour of smaller motorcycle batteries – now I don’t have a large solar set up like some boats, mine are trickle charge in fact I doubt they give out more than 2amps. Also the out board is essentially a motorcycle engine and its generator isn’t that powerful and what have found is smaller amperage batteries are fully charged (obviously) far easier than some great lump of a leisure battery which doesn’t seem to get above 80percent without being hooked onto mains for two days. Now I have three small batteries giving a total of 120 amps but each with its own solar trickle -Lets see what happens over winter.

Lastly a few things that have worked well! That sticky-back plastic – I haven’t painted anything for ages and it’s been on the deck outside for years. Pouring dilute waterproof pva down every deck screw I could find - not a leak in sight! Remember - you read that here first!