boat licence fees for 2024-25

boat licence fees for 2024 to 2025

The Canal & River Trust is today confirming an increase of 6% in Boat Licence Fees from 1 April 2024 for both private boat owners and boating businesses. The rise is based on the latest Bank of England forecasts that inflation will remain at around 4.5% through until April 2024.

The surcharges for boats without a home mooring and wide beam boats, and changes to the prompt and online payment discounts, announced on 4 October, will be applied in addition to this rise.

Boaters can use a new online calculator on the Trust’s website to calculate what the licence fee will be for their boats:

Richard Parry, chief executive at Canal & River Trust, said: “The recent years have been a challenge for organisations and individuals alike. We know that the cost-of-living crisis will have affected many boaters and we have thought long and hard about the licence fee rises we are introducing. There is support available for boaters, and we urge people who are struggling to get in touch with our team.

“The Trust has been heavily impacted by the adverse economic environment. Over the past few years, we’ve faced significant increases in a range of our costs, notably the prices of energy, fuel, materials, and other construction demands. Meanwhile our government grant is reducing in real terms and is due to be cut sharply after 2027, unless our Keep Canals Alive campaign and the multi-organisation Fund Britain’s Waterways campaign persuade Government to revisit its decision. We must act now to plug the funding gap, or we risk seeing canals decline and, ultimately, the risk of closures.

“We’ll continue to secure as much income as we can through our commercial and charitable activities and focus our resources on those priority works which are required to support navigation, and on controlling our costs where possible. The 2,000 miles of waterways that we care for comprise 10,000 assets and structures, many of which are up to 250-years-old, and they are vulnerable to the extreme weather events that are becoming more common. We are continuing to invest in an extensive ongoing programme of works that will safeguard the future of boating on the inland waterways.”

The cost of the licence, which accounts for around 11% of the Trust’s income, has largely kept pace with inflation since the charity was formed. Whilst this is a valuable component of the Trust’s income stream, boaters will not be expected to bear the full brunt of the funding shortfall but will have to make some contribution. The Trust is also working to generate more income from its property and non-property endowment, and from other commercial sources such as hosting utilities and water transfer. A step-change in income generation from towpath users and other supporters is targeted, with fundraising income projected to grow by 10% each year – whilst other commercial waterways income, including from anglers, paddle sports and moorings, is also set to increase.

The Gold Licence charges, agreed with the Environment Agency, will increase by 10% from 1 January 2024. This reflects the higher increases applied to fees in 2023. The surcharge for boats without a home mooring will be applied to Gold Licences from 1 January 2025. The additional wide beam surcharge is not applied to the Gold Licence as it already factors in a charge for wider boats.

The Trust will continue to support boaters who may be struggling to pay their licence fees on a case-by-case basis. This may include arranging flexible payment plans and signposting to relevant services, for example the Waterways Chaplaincy, local authorities and Citizens Advice. For more information visit:

More information on boat licences is available here:

gill shaw

featured author of the season - winter 2023

gill shaw

Gill Shaw has been a professional and highly successful photographer of people for more than 25 years. She is an Associate of the Master Photographers Association and Royal Photographic Association, and she has photographed people from all walks of life from the royal family to islanders on a remote island in Africa.

Now Gill has outstepped her comfort zone, and published a book which looks into the lives of some of the people who live or work on a canal boat. 'Canal Boat Lives' is primarily a book of photographs, and is presented in  conjunction with a National Touring Exhibition. The book follows on from the success of another book of photographs and individual comments entitled 'The hero inside'.

canal boat lives

the hero inside

gill shaw - slightly offstage

Canal Boat Lives

Gill's book, Canal Boat Lives, is in landscape format - in keeping with the Pearson Canal Guides, and with a cover in keeping with the traditional green and red of canal boats.

The book is primarily a collection of photographs, and the text inside consists very largely of the words of the boaters who are photographed. Most of these boaters seem to be based in the South East, more specifically in and around London. But in fairness to the author, there was never any intention to spread the coverage nationwide.

In the volume, there are gathered several musicians, a graphic designer, a writer, a psychotherapist, a foreign correspondent, a pair of DJs, an archaeologist, boat builders, a theatre company and a delightful young boy with autism. The boats photographed include a variety of steel narrowboats including one which has been turned into Del Boy's Robin Reliant. There are also a couple of widebeams - unashamably being described (and indeed shown) as floating luxury apartments.

The photographs are, of course, quite stunning, and those photographs which reveal the inside of boats show that each boat has its own individual style and personality, reflecting the boaters who dwell in them. It is good to see those who not only live aboard, but work aboard to keep themselves afloat.

It would have been easy for Gill Shaw to present a rather romanticised view of life on canal boats, but she does not shirk away from those who mention toilets, the cold and the mud, although these seem to be rather incidental to this wonderful way of life. She doesn't dwell on boaters who struggle to keep going; who cannot afford moorings, and cannot maintain their boats satisfactorily. But she does give us some insight into the lives of people who work hard to keep themselves afloat - such as the young man who repairs, and apparently lives and breathes bicycles which he has rescued from the canal.

The aim of the book is to give us a glimpse of the variety of life on our inland waterways, and the author does a stunning job in presenting the lives behind the colourful boats in Little Venice, Regent's Park and other collection points in and around London. The impact of the book would not be so great if the viewpoint looked at the less colourful boats on the system.

What Gill Shaw does show is that, contrary to the beliefs of many, all boaters are not wasters on benefits or little more than water gypsies. In fact there is as much of a cross section of people as you would find on land. But on boats, well it seems, people do have something a bit special.

This book is a must for anyone interested in boating life. You can view it from many different angles. From the coal merchant who lives in a tiny cabin, to the floating palacial rooms of the wide beam. From those who live in a house, but holiday on their boat, to those who have no home mooring but drift around the countryside from one place to the next. Then those that move sweetly from one marina to the next, living nowhere in particular, but always having the benefits of water and electric - and showers.

Life on a boat is the same as life on land. You live within your means, and in keeping with your dreams. And the ultimate success of Gill's book must lie in the fact that the nature of humans is to be ever curious, and to enjoy glimpses, however brief, into the lives of others. You cannot help browse through the pages, read little snippets, put the book down, and pick it up immediately to read a little more...

You can buy a copy of Gill Shaw's book 'Canal Boat Lives' from Amberley Publishing,
The Hill, Merrywalks, Stroud, Gloucestershire GL5 4EP.

Copies of Gill Shaw's books are also available on Amazon.

permission to come aboard part two

the boating bard

permission to come aboard, part II

If you come to visit me
Make sure you've had a wee
And bring some semi skimmed milk
If you want a cup of tea

I usually have some sugar
And drinking vessels for one each
Though they may be tannin stained
Because I don't use any bleach

I prefer if you take your boots off
And leave your hound at the door
I don't want muddy pawprints
All over my laminate floor

You will take me as you find me
It's a little busy in here
But I'll clear a walkway through
And I'm sure we'll uncover a chair


wet and muddy boots

Please don't outstay your welcome
I find conversation trying
It's hard to wax lyrical
Where my underwear is drying

stone lock cottage

stone lock cottage

The owners of Stone Lock Cottage, which is part of Beeston Stone Lock (a Grade II listed structure) on the Shropshire Union Canal, have applied for planning permission to demolish this historic lock keeper's cottage and replace it with a modern dwelling and separate garage.

stone lock cottage

stone lock cottage

Stone Lock Cottage is situated at the side of the Shropshire Canal at Beeston Stone Lock. The lock and the cottage are in a Conservation Area, and whilst the lock is already Grade II listed, the cottage itself is of historic interest, and has also been put forward as a building which should be listed. (see page 80 of Cheshire West and Chester Council's document published in 2018)

The cottage, formerly owned by British Waterways, was originally sold in 1992. The current owners put in a planning application to Cheshire West and Chester Council in February 2023. In October of this year, they submitted a changed proposal, requesting permission to demolish Stone Lock Cottage and replace it with a new dwelling and a detached garage.

Canal River Trust became involved because the deeds show incorrect boundary lines, attributing land to the owners on the offside of the canal which is in fact owned by CRT. It sounds as though CRT have previously notified the Cheshire Council of this, but are still waiting for the deeds to be altered.

The second reason for CRT's involvement is that the charity is there to "protect the heritage of the canals". Indeed, in their letter to Cheshire Council they state:

"Given the nearby canal heritage, including the Grade II listed No 12 Beeston Stone Lock, Linkman's Hut and Chester Canal Conservation Area, the impact of the Heritage Impact Assesment (HIA) is welcomed. The HIA outlines thorough research into the history of the site, particularly the relationship of lock cottages with the canal, and there is significant evidence provided of the historic and archaeological merits of the site. However, the HIA provides minimal assessment with regard to how the proposed design and form of the replacement dwelling would mitigate potential harm to the immediate designated heritage assets. We would ask the Council to satisfy itself that the application is sufficiently evidenced in this regard..."

In their letter, CRT go on to discuss various facets of the new design, and point out that in accordance with the initial sale in 1992, everything has to be passed through the Trust.

Given the bad publicity that CRT have occasionally been subjected to - for instance, with regard to the sale of the historic Crick Wharf to new developers - it is important to recognise that in this instance, they are doing their utmost to ensure that any new dwelling on the site of Stone Lock Cottage will not impact on the canal and its users in any way.

However, an additional point of interest is that despite Stone Lock Cottage being within three metres of Beeston Stone Lock, which as we know is a Grade II Listed Structure, Historic Buildings England were not made aware of this planning application - especially as Stone Lock Cottage, built for the Lock Keeper, could arguably be deemed to be an intrinsic part of the Grade II listed lock.

If you are interested in the preservation of the heritage of our canals and its stuctures and buildings, or have a particular affinity with the Shropshire Union canal, then it might be worth your while writing to the Cheshire West and Chester Council, Council Offices, 4 Civic Way, Ellesmere Port, CH65 0BE.

The planning application can be viewed on Cheshire West & Chester Council's planning portal, reference 22/04592/FUL.

domestic water tank maintenance

domestic water tank maintenance

With more cruising downtime, this is the perfect time of year to undertake maintenance tasks. One area requiring attention is the domestic water tank, so here, River Canal Rescue advises on the different types of tanks and how to purify them.

Typically constructed of three types of material; plastic, stainless steel or mild steel, each water tank has differing maintenance requirements and associated risks.

The highest risk material is mild steel - it reacts with oxygen to produce rust which drastically depreciates the water, creating an environment for bacteria to develop. While the bacteria is not known to be dangerous, if a bacterial infection takes hold, it can give the water a foul smell and taste. When inspecting the tank, the bacterial infection will look like slime attached to the sides.

Plastic tanks offer greater protection from bacterial infection however, dependent on material and age, they will start to release toxins into the water when they begin to break down so it’s important to replace plastic tanks in accordance with their shelf life.

They’re also more likely to absorb or hold any chemicals added to purify the water. For example, the chemical in purifying tablets used to flush the system may remain in the water for a year or so and while these toxins are not dangerous, a chemical smell and taste will persist.
The lowest risk material is stainless steel – this offers protection from rusting and bacterial infection and as it doesn’t retain toxins, it avoids persistent foul smells and tastes.

domestic water tank

domestic water tanks - steel

Domestic water tank maintenance differs by material.

Stainless steel tanks require a purification cycle of at least once a year. To do this, add a purifying tablet to a FULL water tank and leave to activate for the advised time period. Once purification has occurred, turn all the taps on and drain the system as much as possible. This will ensure purification flows through the system. Next, refill and flush the tank twice more to evacuate any residual chemical within the system (with the taps on and a running hose pipe in the tank).

Mild steel tanks require the same purification cycle as a stainless-steel tank but they also need deep cleaning every three to five years. This entails removing the inspection cover and power washing the inside. Do not sand down or rub the rust off - rust is not dangerous and the power washer will remove any loose rust and debris build up. Do not paint the inside of the tank (unless specialist paint is used) as this will leach toxins into the water.

Plastic tanks also require a yearly purification cycle, but instead of using chemicals, they should be cleaned out manually using hot water. If the tank is inaccessible a hot water flush will suffice. If a chemical is the only method available, regularly flush the system with fresh water. Furthermore, do not allow water to stand in the tank for long periods of time as this increases the build-up of toxins in the water.

Finally, filtration is advisable for any domestic water tank. A filter will remove any debris or sediment, drastically improving the water quality and consistency, and there are also filters that can remove toxins. Filtration however, does not replace the need for tank maintenance and if this is neglected, water will be foul smelling/tasting water even if filters are installed.
RCR has more boat maintenance tips on its website.

lifeboat for the broads

lifeboat for the broads

Hemsby Lifeboat LogoThe story of the “Lifeboat for the Broads” really began in 1999 when following a call from Great Yarmouth Coastguard requesting the inshore inflatable lifeboat stationed on the coast at Hemsby to attend an incident several miles inland on Hickling Broad.
The Hemsby crew responded of course, even though to get to the scene of the incident meant having to tow the lifeboat several miles by road (courtesy of a local farmer) to a launching slip on the shore at Hickling Broad.

Although that was the first recorded incident of Hemsby Lifeboat having been tasked by the Coastguard to attend an incident on the Broads, the history of Hemsby Lifeboat station itself actually began many years previously in the early 1970s, following more than a dozen fatalities as a result of drowning along the coastal waters between Winterton and Scratby. The nearest lifeboats were an RNLI “D” class 5m inflatable at Happisburgh to the north and an old Liverpool Class all weather lifeboat capable of no more than about 8kts based at Caister to the south.

The result of these drownings was a commitment in 1975 by the local Hemsby community to form a local Rescue Service and to source an appropriate “rescue boat” in the shape of a 4.5m Avon inflatable on loan from Sub Aqua club. Later that year, thanks to the generosity of the Norfolk Broads Lions Club, The Hemsby Inshore Rescue Service (HIRS) was able to purchase their first boat, a 5m Avon Searider RIB with a 40hp Mercury outboard, appropriately named “Sealion 1” in recognition of the Lions Club’s support.

Following the purchase of their own rescue boat there was of course a need to source a boat-house to keep it in, but even more importantly to site this in a position that enabled the boat to be launched as quickly as possible in the event of a “shout”.  There was of course then a pressing need to equip the boat with essential kit such as life-jackets, VHF radio etc and to recruit volunteers to act as crew for the new boat and most importantly to provide training in seamanship, radio communications and first-aid for the boat and shore crews who initially numbered around thirty volunteers. In their very first year the Hemsby inshore rescue service responded to six incidents (nowadays usually referred to as “shouts”)

The next years, 1977 and 1978 were busy with all the administrative measures required for recognition by the Charity Commission, HM Coastguard and operational matters as well including the purchase of a Landrover for launching the rescue boat into the water, pagers for the crew, whilst during that same two-year period the HIRS responded to no less than 19 “shouts”

The1980s saw many developments amongst the most significant being the official recognition by HM Coastguard of Hemsby IRS as a “Declared Facility” and an integral part of the UK Search & Rescue organisation (UKSAR) Declared Facility Status, or DFS as its usually referred to is not an accolade that’s hard to achieve it also requires the station to conform to the Coastguard Code of Practice covering its range of operations and procedures, all of which are monitored annually by the Maritme & Coastguard Agency (MCA)

Other notable events during the 1980s and ‘90s included the building of a new purpose-built station building, the purchase of new boats Sealions ll, III and lV all against a worrying background of coastal erosion. During the two decades of the ‘80s and ‘90s Hemsby Inshore Rescue Services responded to more than eighty “shouts” culminating in 1999 with that incident described previously, several miles inland on Hickling Broad. This incident lead to a decision to purchase a dedicated “freshwater lifeboat” for use on inland waters, mainly of course for incidents on The Broads, where a shallow draft boat is needed and the usual RIB with its relatively deep hull designed for use at sea, often in rough weather, is really not best suited to the often quite shallow waters of the Broads.

Hemsby Lifeboat Station

So the turn of the century saw the introduction of the very first Hemsby Broads Rescue Boat, subsequently superceeded by similar types of boat culminating some few years ago with a 14 foot Seastrike/Goodchild Marine very shallow draft aluminium “dory” powered by a 30hp outboard and normally towed to one of some 32 launching sites around the 125 miles of the Broads inland waterways by a Mitsubishi L20 tow truck

Hemsby Lifeboat Station

This Broads Rescue Boat, known more commonly as the Lifeboat for the Broads, responds to an average of some 50 incidents on the Broads every year, while Hemsby’s sea-going RIB lifeboat also gets numerous shouts each year for incidents offshore, all made more difficult in terms of launching by the serious and on-going coastal erosion here which deserves far more from the government in terms of improved sea defences which if not forthcoming will result in the need for the whole Hemsby Lifeboat Station and its operations to be relocated.

Hemsby Lifeboat for Broads on Trailer

An example of the type of “shouts” that the Hemsby Lifeboat for the Broads responds to took place earlier this month as described in the local press:

Hemsby Broads Rescue was paged by Humber Coastguard last night at 23:40. Our assistance was requested by local Coastguard teams to help with the evacuation of a female in her seventies who had fallen on her vessel earlier in the evening.

It was agreed by the Coastguard and the medical team on scene that the best option would be to navigate the vessel to a suitable mooring close to the Ambulance, as the alternative would have been a significant walk and not in the best interests of the casualty or emergency crews.

We launched Broads Marley and, after locating the casualty vessel, put two crew on board to navigate to the selected mooring close to the ambulance. Helmed by a lifeboat crew, the vessel proceeded under escort from the Broads Rescue Boat and was safely repositioned.

We thank the Coastguard teams from Bacton and Winterton and the Ambulance Crew. Once the casualty was safe on board the ambulance Hemsby Stood down and returned to base for post-emergency administration and clean down at 01:45."

royal exchange kinver

the royal exchange


Although the Royal Exchange in Kinver can't really be classed as a canal side pub, you will find it's well worth the walk from the visitor moorings. There are different routes, including a well trodden path from Hyde Lock, and a steady uphill climb from the moorings at Whittington Horse Bridge. Walking from Kinver Lock through the village takes about 15 minutes but it's also a good excuse for taking in what else the village has to offer. Whichever way you go, you are bound to receive a warm welcome at the Royal Exchange.

Local villagers would say that, in the last year or so, the Royal Exchange has changed almost beyond recognition. This has to be entirely due to the enthusiasm, experience and sheer hard work of the current landlady, Debbie Burns and her partner Ben Hardcastle. So much so, that in July this year, Debbie received the coveted first prize in the pub chains The Sports Incentive Scheme, beating all other Marstons pubs nationwide, earning herself the grand prize of £500. Debbie and Ben also came second in the Best Kept Frontage in Kinver.

royal exchange

royal exchange - beerfest


Debbie and Ben both hale from the North, and both are well experienced in the pub trade. Debbie is a fully qualified and experienced beautician, and Ben is a stone mason by trade, although he seems to be able to turn his hand to anything. And Debbie is always brim-full of projects for him to undertake!

One of the highlights in Debbie's career was when she ran both pub and beautician's practice in Cornwall. Plus she has run a bar out in Spain. At one time she travelled widely in France and Spain and when she returned, she decided to re-enter the pub trade, asking the breweries for a hotel. She got her hotel almost immediately, and with it, she found herself overseeing a total of 26 pubs.

A major turning point in Debbie's career followed. A serious accident resulted in her breaking her back in three places. A long convalescence resulted, during which Debbie had to learn to walk all over again. She had to abandon the high powered position she had held, and spent a few good months in hospital and then recuperating abroad.

Since getting together, Debbie and Ben have had pubs in various parts of the country including Bishop Auckland and Stourbridge. They managed to enjoy a few months touring in Europe and then eventually took over the Royal Exchange in July 2022.

Debbie - a landlady who likes to pull her own pints

ben, landlord at the royal exchange, Kinver

the pub

The pub interior is cosy but quite spacious. The main bar area has an alcove for darts, and there is a snug room which is almost, but not quite separate from the main bar. There are log fires in the winter, and there is a covered smoking / seating area outside which is very popular all year round, especially as it has three hanging heaters and curtains to keep everyone cosy.

As you would expect with a Marston's pub, there is a good selection of lagers, ciders and a whole selection of real ales for the connoisseur. The top shelves seem to be very well stocked, and Debbie, with her knowledge of good wines, will be sure to serve you the best.

There are no dining facilities at the pub, but on quiz nights and other special occasions, Debbie and her staff will put on a jolly amount of sandwiches or other delicious buffet foods.

the snug

royal exchange, Kinver

the garden

The gardens, both front and back, are Debbie and Ben's greatest achievement. Debbie of course has the ideas, and Ben carries out her instructions. It is Ben who built all the raised beds to the front and rear.

The covered outdoor area is the most popular area of the pub, in both summer and winter. It is not far from the bar, has a good view of the stage and the garden, and for colder days there is very ample heating.

The couple have built a stage area, which doubles up as a cosy seating area when no one is performing. Full of hanging baskets, it is an extension of the garden.

They have also built a BBQ area, with an outdoor oven and a raised fire pit.

They have thought of everything, so when events are on, the uncovered part of the garden has a giant canopy. The show will always go on!

royal exchange, Kinver

sheltered outdoor area

what's on

The pub is never without live entertainment for very long. With individual artists and groups, plus special events like the 'Rock and Royal' festival, or the Cheese and Wine party.

They also have a quiz night, a real ale night and a cocktails evening. Plus they have loads of ideas for future events, so well worth keeping a watchful eye out. For those sports lovers out there, there is plenty of 'Live Sport' to watch on large TVs with your mates.

Debbie and Ben are always prepared to take part in events themselves - hence the beer fest outfits sported in some of the accompanying photos. Debbie has the reputation for being unable to sit still for more than two minutes. They are a very welcoming couple who have spread their friendliness through their customers, so that any boater, whether holiday maker, part time cruiser or well seasoned live aboard, will find him or herself welcomed by staff and punters alike.

royal exchange, Kinver - garden

the royal exchange, Kinver

Ben Hardcastle and Debbie Burns

This has to be a pub that has to be well worth visiting. Ben and Debbie are fun loving and welcoming, but have a pub that is well run in every particular. We have always felt accepted and have been amazed at how friendly the regular customers have been toward us. And with all of their ideas for the future, definitely a pub to watch!

You can follow Debbie and Ben on Facebook

insurance cover for boats

insurance cover for boats

rcr warns of sub standard insurance cover

Breakdown and emergency assistance firm, River Canal Rescue (RCR), is calling for boaters to check their terms & conditions if they have a third-party insurance policy, as many will leave them unable to recover costs for a vessel refloat, removal and pollution management if their boat sinks.

RCR says it’s aware of a number of insurance companies that are capitalising on the demand for cheap policies by modifying their terms & conditions, including removing some common third-party risks or adding them as optional extras.

This, says managing director, Stephanie Horton, is causing major problems for owners, who due to unclear Policy Information Documents, are unaware they’ll be left to foot the bill for vessel refloat, pollution management and environmental damage claims, should their vessel sink:

“While most third-party policies will support ‘salvage’ – vessel sinking – claims, as there’s a risk you may cause damage to the environment and other vessels, do not take this for granted. Boat age is another issue; although a standard policy covers specific age-ranges, insurers can exclude certain vessels, or will only insure with a survey, not a BSS certificate, so it’s important to check.”

RCR is also concerned about claims handling, saying a number of insurers fail to appreciate boaters’ circumstances or support them during what is usually a very traumatic event.

Stephanie continues: “The emphasis is generally on claimants to limit further damage, organise estimates, report on what’s happening and pay for the work. Most insurers don’t take into account if you’re on holiday, you cannot progress the claim as you would if at home, and if you’re a liveaboard, and have just lost everything including your bank cards, phone and personal possessions, you’re not in a position to take any of the above actions.

“Before buying insurance, check the policy exclusions and optional extras, and ask how your claim will be processed if your vessel sinks or is at risk of sinking - is there a 24 hour helpline and online support?”

To help boaters navigate third-party policies and claims handling procedures, RCR has compiled two insurer comparison tables. Where possible its team checked all available policy documents, but this may not cover everything, so use only as a framework. Similarly, the claims handling data is based on general claims, and each case may be different.

boat insurance comparison tableRCR and its subsidiary, Canal Contracting, respond to hundreds of incidents resulting in insurance claims every year and regularly witness insurance policies failing to meet customer expectations and variations in insurer claims handling. Its Incident Care team helps boaters manage insurance claims and reduce risks following an emergency – call 01785 785680 to find out more.


the boating bard


It's as hot as hell in here
I'm looking for a draught
Got everything wide open
At my bow end and my aft

My fans are on full bore
To try and get a breeze
I'm sucking ice cubes frantically
whilst sitting on frozen peas

mandy mcdermott

I think I'm gonna ignite,
If I don't get a gust
I really need to chill out
Or I'll spontaneously combust

My feet resemble trotters
My face is rather red
My sun hat's made of leather
Think I'm going to boil my head

I'm glowing like a beacon
and dripping beads of sweat
I'm feeling rather moist but
my wipes are no longer wet

I've drank my weight in water
I've googled what that means
I'll die from hyponatremia
If I can't cool my beans

I've had an ice cold shower
Though I really don't know why
Got hotter with towel rubbing
When I should've just dripped dry

I need to stand in water
but there's a big hole in my bucket
I think I'll just jump into the cut
'Cos there's nothing else for it

water conversation

the boating bard

water conversation

I wash my dishes in a thimble full
And reuse most of my crockery
I wipe plates clean with kitchen roll
But I sanitize my cutlery

I invert my clothes to get more wear
Until they start to stink
I consider the use of the washing machine
Or a hand wash in the sink

I know of boaters who multitask
Do their laundry whilst they shower
Swish their smalls round with their feet
Saving water and pump power


water conversation

I can wet wipe wash for many days
But I won't tell you how many
I dry shampoo instead of wet
Don't flush when spending a penny

My teeth are cleaned in record time
I don't rinse off all the paste
Leave in conditioner's revolutionary
Saving also on water waste

I cook veg in the smallest amount
I braise and don't sous vide
I scramble eggs, don't boil or poach
And I've never bain-marie'd

I don't recycle the hot bottle water
when making myself a brew
That's just taking it a step too far
And will probably make me...