I thought you were getting frisky
When you rolled on me in the night
But the mattress was on a slant
When our mooring ropes went tight

We moonwalked down the boat
Then tried our best to dress
It's hard to put a leg in a pant
Whilst you're leaning to the left

Breakfast was quite a challenge
Cooking on a tilted vessel
What with our sausages rolling
And a sliding boiling kettle

The shower drain doesn't
Nor does the kitchen sink
We've gone all Brahms and Liszt
But we haven't had a drink

Our cupboard doors are wide open
With all our wares on show
We're sitting on the canal bed
No longer in the flow

We'll have to dance for rain
For we really are quite stuck
It's most discombobulating
All this wallowing in the muck

So when you leave a lock
Shut your gates and paddles tight
And ladies won't get squashed
By their husbands in the night