the boating bard
a rude awakening
I thought you were getting frisky
When you rolled on me in the night
But the mattress was on a slant
When our mooring ropes went tight
We moonwalked down the boat
Then tried our best to dress
It's hard to put a leg in a pant
Whilst you're leaning to the left
Breakfast was quite a challenge
Cooking on a tilted vessel
What with our sausages rolling
And a sliding boiling kettle
The shower drain doesn't
Nor does the kitchen sink
We've gone all Brahms and Liszt
But we haven't had a drink
Our cupboard doors are wide open
With all our wares on show
We're sitting on the canal bed
No longer in the flow
We'll have to dance for rain
For we really are quite stuck
It's most discombobulating
All this wallowing in the muck
So when you leave a lock
Shut your gates and paddles tight
And ladies won't get squashed
By their husbands in the night