The simple fact that of all people who pop up in my research, 99% of them are dead means I can find myself surrounded by a monosyllabic trail of funeral notes and burial records. The weather as I type this is far too lovely to write about death and destruction, so today we’re looking at weddings.

In today’s world there is a somewhat bizarre concept of ‘jumping over a mopstick’ for a boater getting married, which appears to be a corruption of the idea of jumping over a broomstick to solidify a union that wouldn’t be recognised by the church. This was indeed a real custom among the Romany peoples (as well as within the enslaved peoples), but ‘broomstick marriages’ were not legal and were viewed with scorn by the vast majority of the population, boaters included.

So how did a boater ‘tie the knot’? The answer is actually a little dull; he tied it in the church, like
everyone else.

While they weren’t, as a rule, particularly religious, the idea of getting married in anywhere other than a church was simply dismissed out of hand. Even as late as 1934, a registry office wedding was derided as a poor choice. “They don’t go to church, except to be married, as a rule. But you will never hear of one being married in a registry office, nor of a woman going on another trip after confinement until she has been churched” described one old boater to a journalist for the Express and Star.

Boaters rarely married people not off the canal, in much the same way that miners tended to stay within their communities; it is very hard for an outsider to understand and assimilate into a way of life so alien to them. There were also the practicalities of meeting a potential mate; boaters didn’t really get the chance to meet anyone other than other boaters.

Courtship was conducted mostly on the move, with the young couple having a shy conversation as their boats passed and perhaps going for a little walk together if their boats were at the same wharf at the same time, staying within viewing distance of the young lady’s family of course. Messages and signs could be left for each other on lock beams, scrawled using the grease from the paddle gear. In later years, when bicycles made their way to the boats, a young man might cycle for miles back along the towpath at the end of the working day just to spend half an hour in his young lady’s company.

When the couple were ready for marrying, the young man would approach the company and ask if there was a boat he could have for his own. This was no different to a couple ‘on the bank’ having to organise their own first home, and in fact it was far quicker. Sometimes he might have to wait for a little before a boat was available, but he didn’t need to buy his boat and there was nothing to spend on furniture as the cabin would already be fitted out; all the couple needed was their clothes, some bedding and some crockery.

The process of the wedding was much the same as it was for anyone else when it came to the legal side. As described in 1934, “When the daughter of a boatman agrees to marry the son of another boatman, the two put up Banns at churches at both ends of the canal on which they work. When the two boats meet at the same terminus wharf, the wedding takes place, and it is always attended by a large and picturesque gathering of boat people. The couple have already secured a boat for themselves, and their honeymoon is to a journey to Chester and Ellesmere Port carrying perishable goods.”​

The “picturesque” gathering the journalist describes would invariably be based around a pub. There might be a few boaters playing music and as last orders got called at the bar at around 10pm, a few water cans might be filled up with beer to allow the merriment to continue outside.

Invariably, the majority of the wedding party, happy couple included, would be away as usual the following morning. The newly-weds would often be sent to their boat with ribald comments harking back to the ‘bedding ceremony’ of years gone by, with one young man being handed a small cigar by another man: “for affer my lad, for affer” he winked.

Of course what I’ve described here is what you could call the romantic matches, young love. There were far more pragmatic second marriages, where widows and widowers would “make a match” of convenience rather than romance. Either gender of spouse could find themselves bereaved and left with a pair of boats to work and just a few kiddies as crew, and it made far more sense to marry someone in a similar situation.

One man took pragmatism to new levels in 1895 when he called in at the Nantwich workhouse and asked if they could recommend any of the women inmates as a potential bride. Born around 1825, Samuel Walker appears to have been working for the Shropshire Union Company, and just 6 months prior to mooring “Berlin” up at Nantwich to go window-shopping for a wife, he’d been at Market Drayton burying his last. The women of the workhouse don’t appear to have been too disconcerted by the prospect of taking up with a boater, and some 50 were brought forward and 45 year old Sarah Shone duly captured the questionable prize.

Perhaps unsurprisingly; Sarah very quickly lost interest in working a horseboat with her husband and ran off, allegedly taking up with a blind fiddle player in Manchester. Despite Samuel’s willingness to take back his errant wife, he never saw her again. He must have found someone to work his boat with him though, as he appears to eventually die at Ellesmere Port in 1901.

At the island the reception committee of Dave Harris, Jenny Cartwright, the Ward sisters and Jess had been waiting by the jetty for about twenty minutes, each scanning the distance for the familiar form of Mayfly.
“They’re not usually so late back,” Em said. “I hope there’s no trouble.”
“They’ll be here presently,” Dave replied reassuringly. “Those two aren’t about to take any chances with you, so everything will have to be right.”
“It’s probably us that’ll sink the thing,” Dee added playfully, to a rather scornful look from Jenny
Cartwright, who had momentarily slipped back into head teacher mode.
“I can see them through the bins!” Dave smiled. “Not a bad little craft they’ve got for you.”
A quick handing round of the binoculars confirmed that there were indeed two boats heading their way.
There need have been no worry as to the reliability of the motor, which had plodded steadily upriver with a solid sounding beat that gave the feeling that, with enough fuel, it could continue in the same way for decades without stopping to draw breath.
“Can we get aboard and see her properly,” Em almost squeaked, in a reprise of her eight year old self, as Amanda drew up at the jetty.
“Let the girl tie her up first!” Jenny said, deftly catching the ropes thrown by Amanda and, to Dave’s surprise, making them fast with very well tied knots of the correct type for the job.
“What?” she added, answering Dave’s incredulity “I was a Girl Guide you know. I can tie knots and dig latrines with the best of them.”
“We were taught, but I never had to dig one at camp,” Amanda replied, also slightly surprised at her former head teacher’s hidden skill. “Right you two. I need to show you round,” she added as she turned to accept the lines from Jim, who had neatly laid Mayfly alongside.

Whilst on the outside the Willow Wisp III was slightly larger than Jim and Amanda’s boat, the inside seemed smaller due to the presence of the small inboard engine which took a fair bit of cabin and cockpit space. Also, the craft was like a miniature copy of larger cabin cruisers, and had not addressed very well the waste of space associated with features such as the sink and galley area. Whilst nice to have the sink in theory, it was too low and fed by gravity from a water tank that took up too much room in the bow, providing little more than a trickle from the tap. The stove was rather impractically placed, and its gas supply took up yet more room. The seemingly more Spartan arrangements on Mayfly were preferred by both parties, but, this was a boat, it was functional and it cost nothing to hire.
“It’s different, but so are we,” Dee smiled. “Thanks for letting us go with you.”
All the hastily made arrangements seemed to have fallen into place, which was taken by all as a good omen. After a couple of days preparation it was time to set off and Dee gingerly took the starting handle, making herself ready to turn the motor over. It took three attempts, and she had a good feeling when it did start. As Amanda was most used to the new boat, she teamed up with Dee for the first few miles, leaving Jim with Em on the Mayfly. Whilst she would have liked to start the journey on the boat that was to be her home for a while, she was more than happy to assist Jim. He had made a strong impression on her as an eight year old, and though it was five years since that time, she still had the same feeling about him. Here was someone that would have been the best of elder brothers. Then he played to her impish curiosity, and made her laugh with his daft jokes and mannerisms. Now he spoke to her more as an equal, still witty but less likely to pull punches when there was something important to be said.

“Did you just go like this?” she asked, with some of the eight year old curiosity in her voice.
“It was darker, and we kind of slipped away in the night. Not far, just to that island up there,” he pointed.
“We were fugitives.”
“Were you scared?” Em replied.
“Completely,” Jim said, remembering the day. “I’d set out for a holiday, and there I was running away for goodness knows how long with someone I’d only met a couple of days before, probably laying myself open to all sorts of criminal charges into the bargain..”
“I wasn’t scared when we set off down here,” Em smiled.
“Liar,” Jim was quick with his answer.
“That’s unkind!” Em laughed.
“It’s true though isn’t it,” Jim added. “I bet it walloped you when you shut the front door.”
“Not then. It was when we got off the coach and went walking to find you and Amanda. I just thought.
What the hell have I done!”
“So I was right. You were scared,” Jim smiled.
“Jim! You tricked me,” Em laughed.
“I could see you were putting a brave face on it.” Jim replied There’s not many secrets when you’re on the water. You’ll find the news of this trip will already be about twenty or so miles ahead of us.”
“So why are we doing this trip?” Em’s question demanded a proper answer.
“We know where your dad is, and he asked us to look after you, which we’d have done regardless. Your Mum is returning soon enough, but she’ll be a while yet,” Jim paused. “That doesn’t mean that you should both be sat on cotton wool and mothballs. We were heading north to a canal festival anyway, and you two need to enjoy your summer.”
“To a normal person, that’d sound really daft,” Em smiled. “But I don’t think any of us are normal are we. That’d be boring!”

Adapted from “Emily’s Journey” by Michael Nye.
This version
©2023 Michael Nye.

First some good news! Even after a long very cold very wet winter, for the first time in ages Dawn Treader (DT) doesn’t need a coat of paint, the vinyl wrap making her still look fresh. Now the bad news: shut down for months like so many boats, little or no air has circulated. So we have the usual musty mould under lockers, in cupboards, etc. - all of which need a good wash out. I’ve tried these moisture absorbing crystals etc, but nothing beats opening all lockers, windows, vents, and cushion tops, as a couple of nights on board have been cold . Nothing absorbs water like a boat mattress – but I have a cunning plan later.

The boat isn’t going anywhere without an engine; amazingly mine fired up, but only on the pull start, not the electric. This really started to annoy me - mainly because it’s a beast to pull over by hand. But why wasn’t it working off the electric start especially when the starter was cranking it with gusto? The internet and especially boat forums seem to be full of people that think they know more than they do and gaily start ripping bits off an engine convincing themselves that if it isn’t x it must be y. But my engine runs, so no need to touch it.

A phone call to an old friend Mr Adrian Rush left me slightly deflated as he immediately pointed out the bleeding obvious. If my cushions etc are full of damp, I bet that the engine hasn’t enjoyed the rain, mist and freezing temperatures any better. So one can of WD 40, some emery cloth and a can of silicone waterproofing spray, and every electrical connection was taken apart cleaned and waterproofed. And now it runs like a new engine - for 10 quid’s worth of spray.

Next job - dinghy's out and I scrub her hull, especially the water line. Here is a neat trick: take two long mooring ropes and run them fore and aft under the hull ( you cant do side to side because of keel boards) then if you have a wife, partner or child that actually sets foot on board – one pulls one way one pulls the other and all the fresh water mussels , crud etc comes off. If you are on your own like me, then you have to use some ingenuity. Secure the bow end to the bank, then pull the stern end so the boat moves forward over the scrubbing rope. This also works a treat!

I’ve never liked the bunks on boats, its sort of a compromise between serious back injury as cushions depart from under you and freezing to death as they are right down in the hull. When I stared sail training at 15 some of the old boats still had hammocks -hmmm I wonder. The internet is a wonderful thing. Two hours later and an ex 1960s Royal navy hammock is purchased. Ok, in the advert it did say may need a clean and has aroma of old canvas and tarred hemp, and after my first extremely comfortable warm and snug night I am writing this smelling something akin to the sail locker on the Cutty Sark.

However, I am up out the way with air flowing underneath me and mine had the original flaps for the support boards. More importantly my bed clothes cannot fall out – quite the reverse, we are in a cocoon. I am not going to teach you to string and rope a hammock – basically you can alter their shape to suit by lengthening or shortening the support strings. The great advantage is you can furl it up out the way, in fact it’s so good I am chucking out the folding bed, giving me some much-needed space below.

Interestingly in the pursuit of a decent article I left a thermometer on the forward bunks and one above my hammock. The difference in temperature last night was 3 degrees. This doesn’t sound a lot I know, but I assure you, 7 degrees is more comfortable than 4.

Meanwhile I am still on a mission to make this boating as cheap as possible, and I suppose we are all missing the point – sustainability is living in the raw as means as possible. Maybe we have forgotten that a boat isn’t a house and indeed that must be half its charm. So, I have made a point of not using any gas, pulling over and lighting the Kelly kettle. I am after a spirit stove, but then, it would seem, so is half the world as a second hand one is still £200. Indeed, I have decided that for all the gas is coming out, it's just far too expensive. The electric motor is now bolted permanently to the transom, giving me the boost to get DT moving, and here’s something odd which needs investigating – I have a feeling it ends up as a charger, because as boat moves along, I seem to be getting a better charge into battery (though more than likely it’s because I cleaned all connections).

Now if you will excuse me – time to heat some water on Kelly kettle, grab a bucket and head for the shower – I seriously do smell like an old sail locker.

With the summer cruising season well underway, River Canal Rescue (RCR) has put together some boat safety tips to help prevent theft: 

• Fit a good quality alarm with warning signs and a GPS tracker  (the latter’s also included within our new platinum membership package) 
• Consider a smart boat monitoring system. Connection permitting, you’ll be able to remotely monitor what’s happening and be alerted if your boat moves  
• Fit security lighting and CCTV 
• Leave a low-power LED internal light on, or set it up via a timer switch  
• Fit window guards and bars across entrance doors  
• Use high-quality door locks and heavy-duty internal hasps. If using padlocks, buy cylinder high-security van types – they’re harder to pick, but be mindful a padlock is a clear signal you’re not onboard 
• Never leave your key in the ignition and carry your boat key separately 
• Remove your battery isolator keys and keep them with you or put them somewhere safe (it’ll stop someone starting the engine and moving the boat)  
• Store the serial number of your engine and gear box, and hull identification number. This will help the police and CRT track your vessel if it is moved, and don’t leave original registration documents onboard, it makes it easier to transfer ownership   
• Transfer essential documents onto your phone, laptop or tablet and store the information on the cloud- so you can recover it if necessary  
• Lock your valuables away/ move them out of sight and mark with a UV marker pen or the newer forensic dna marker pen – it makes it easier to return stolen goods to owners  
• Buy a locking fuel cap - in addition to the financial loss, you’ll be stranded without fuel 
• If you have a roof box, remove any valuables and leave nothing on show  
• Chain up bikes 
• Curtains - open or closed? There are differing opinions, so we suggest a compromise – pull them halfway so anyone peering in can’t tell if you’re there or not 
• Chain your boat to moorings in urban areas, heavy-duty cable ties also work if you clamp ropes together close to bollards and t-stands 
• If moored near other boaters, let them know you’re leaving the boat and give them your contact details so you can be reached. 

RCR managing director, Stephanie Horton, adds: “While marinas provide the safest moorings, it’s not always practical to be in one. When mooring away from marinas, check the surrounding area, does it look safe, how accessible is the towpath, is there lighting, are there buildings or houses nearby?   

“Know your location – find out from Google Maps or other apps whether there’s a pub, local landmark or named streets near to you, make a note of the postcode in case you have to make an emergency call.   

“If you’ve invested in deterrents such as alarms, trackers, commercial-grade security etc, thieves may consider the boat too difficult to break into. And your outlay could be off-set with cheaper premiums as insurers will recognise your efforts.

“If you do encounter a problem, our rapid response team can help minimise damage in some emergency scenarios, where the stability of your vessel is at risk, but in others, such as vandalism and theft, insurers require you to take steps first. 

“This means boarding up your craft, reporting the incident to the police (and getting a crime number), taking photos, recording what’s missing and contacting your insurance company as soon as possible.  This evidences a ‘duty of care’ and should help the claim progress more smoothly.

“Your insurer will also expect you to have taken reasonable precautions including locking your boat and removing any on-deck gear when the boat’s unattended. Claims are only paid if force is used to break into the boat.  

“Being part of our waterway community means there are tools and organisations to support you if your boat is stolen. Go online first, it can return some impressive results. When we were notified of a stolen boat in Nottingham, we shared it online and within an hour and a half, the boat was found, and we had a description of who took it and where it had been. Social media and online forums are great at spreading the word.

“The Canal & River Trust can also assist police with surveillance, via its UK-wide network of employees and volunteers.”

Stephanie concludes: “The boating community is a great deterrent to would-be thieves; we look out for each other and are keen to give a helping hand when needed. Although this can help with crime prevention, it may not be enough to stop opportunistic thieves helping themselves to your belongings and even your boat (it’s not only boaters who take to the water when the weather’s warmer and the evenings lighter). 

“These tips make it harder to steal a boat, and the more time would-be thieves have to spend on the vessel, the more likely they’ll draw attention to themselves, and want to leave the mooring.”

Little did the producers or author Ian Fleming know, that 1962 would be the start of a humungous franchise in the film entertainment industry?
James Bond was only known through the spy adventure novels written by Ian Fleming before being converted into action packed feature films that have spanned many decades.
The first Bond film was Dr No, and was panned by Fleming who quoted the film as being “dreadful”. Little did he know the impact that Bond would have on film -goers and critics over the next 50 years.

Throughout the years Bond has been a mainstay action character that has thrilled audiences right across the globe, with suaveness, style, and imaginary gadgetry to match.

Ian Fleming

The gadgets themselves could fill pages of text themselves, we at Bearingtech understand the inventiveness and engineering that these gadgets contain, something that we will touch on a little later, but who can forget the jet pack, the watches and best of all, the wonderful cars?

The thing with the gadgets, is that they all have to be thought of, then developed to try and convince the audience that they actually work, some are over the top, but how many people laughed at the intercom communicators in Star Trek as being far fetched, scroll forward a few years and those communicators turned into smart phones that we all use in todays techno world.

During this time there have been several actors who have portrayed the character on screen spanning the 25 films, all of which have been financially successful and entertaining, ok they are never going to win Oscars for acting, but how many other film genres can compete with the Bond saga, not many?

Sean Connery

The first actor, and undoubtedly the best Bond in many peoples eyes is Sir Sean Connery, real name Thomas and affectedly known in his younger years as Tommy, had no intention of becoming an actor and in fact took up roles as a milkman and a coffin polisher before joining the Royal and Merchant navy.

Legendary football manager Sir Matt Busby tried to persuade Connery to become a footballer by offering him a playing contract at Manchester United, but by that time the acting bug had kicked in and Sean decided to stick with it.

Although most peoples favourite Bond, author Ian Fleming was reluctant to offer him the role, preferring Cary Grant for the position, only for Grant to turn down the chance having felt to old for the part, so Connery was given the chance and after seeing Dr No Fleming was quoted as saying that he had made the right choice, even though he didn’t like the films layout.

Other actors who have been offered the role over the years include Christopher Lee, Burt Reynolds, Clint Eastwood, Adam West, Sam Neil, Gerard Butler, Sean Bean, Liam Neeson and surprisingly Hugh Grant.

After the success of Dr No, Connery was caught speeding by a police officer, who pulled him over, and was astounded when the officer told him his name it was Sargeant James Bond, you couldn’t make it up, could you?

Because Bond had to be seen as stylish, Connery had to wear a toupee throughout every Bond film that he made, after discovering that his hair was thinning in his late teens, in his private life he preferred to go natural.

Another glamorous side to the Bond films was the introduction of the Bond girls, who have adorned the screens in all the of the 25 films made, everybody remembers Honor Blackman, Halle Berry, Teri Hatcher, Britt Ekland amongst many others, but how many realise that other now famous actresses were turned down for the roles including Jane Fonda, Elle McPherson, Raquel Welch and Faye Dunaway to name a few?

After the success of Dr No came From Russia with Love, Goldfinger and Thunderball and audiences were hooked on the spectacular stunts and scenes that appeared on the screen, one famous scene during the filming of Goldfinger, actress Shirley Eaton had to be painted from top to toe in gold paint, subsequently killing her in the process due to suffocation, which is not accurate as the only way to suffocate someone is to cover the mouth and nose, still made a good scene though, something that everyone remembers.

There was another unfortunate episode during the filming of Goldfinger as the actor Gert Frobe who was playing the villain, disliked the role for a dark reason and disapproved of it, because one​ of the scenes involved a gassing sequence, which he found very uncomfortable, as during World War II he was a member of the Nazi party.

The film itself was banned in Israel for years until a Jewish family revealed that Frobe had helped their family during the holocaust atrocities, which enabled the ban to be lifted.

Another famous scene during the Thunderball film involved a shark infested swimming pool, where Bond had to escape, during the filming the special effects department decided to use a dead shark and pull it towards Bond using wires, as they started to pull, they realised that the shark was in fact alive and started thrashing about, which agitated the other sharks and ended up in a blood frenzy, whilst the special effects people were still inside the pool.

Sean went on to make 6 Bond films for the Broccoli studios, before reprising the role for another studio in the re-make of Thunderball called Never Say Never Again alongside Kim Basinger.

Through an illustrious career he went on to make 93 films including Robin Hood Prince of Thieves where he donated his £250,000 appearance money to charity, his last film was the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. During this marvellous career he stayed friends with his best friend Michael Caine who he first met in 1954, the two became best friends up until the day he died, Caine was quoted as saying that he had lost his brother and best friend.

TITLE

Dr No
From Russia With Love
Goldfinger
Thunderball 1
You Only Live Twice
Diamonds Are Forever

YEAR

1962
1963
1964
1965
1967
1971

VILLAIN

Julius No
Ernst Blofeld
Auric Goldfinger
Emilio Largo
Ernst Blofeld
Mr Wint & Mr Kidd

BOND GIRL

Honey Ryder
Tatiano Romanova
Pussy Galore
Domino Derval
Kissy Suzuki
Tiffany Case

CAR

Sunbeam Alpine
Bentley 3.5
Aston Martin DB5
Aston Martin DB5
Aston Martin DB5
Aston Martin

PROFIT (MILLIONS)

59.5
78.9
124.9
141.2
111.6
116.0

Gadgetry used

• Dr No = Geiger counter, Cigarette with cyanide, Dragon tank that fire flames and Bionic hands
• From Russia with Love = Special briefcase with .22 calibre sword, Teargas cartridge and a Spring-loaded knife, Bug detector, Dagger in the shoe, Garrote watch, Mini periscope, and Recording camera.
• Goldfinger = Oddjob's hat with the metal rim, Homing beacons, Industrial laser, Parking meter, tear gas unit and a Wetsuit with a sea-gull on top as a decoy.
• Thunderball = Homing pill, Jetpack, Underwater jetpack, Underwater camera, Mini Vey pistol, Cassette recorder in a book, Electrocution staff chair and Skyhook.
• You Only Live Twice = Mini rocket cigarette, Waterproof Body bag, Jet propelled bullets, Little Nelle gyro-copter, Gyro rocket guns, X Ray desk, Lipstick gas, Safe cracking device and Poison delivery string.
• Diamonds Are Forever = Biometric fingerprint scanner, Fake fingerprints, Piton pistol, Pocket snap trap, Electromagnetic ring, and a Voice changer.
• Fascinating Fact = Sean Connery was morbidly terrified of spiders, which didn’t go down too well while playing Bond in Dr No, as there was a scene where a tarantula had to crawl on him, filming was saved as the props department inserted a Perspex sheet between the spider and Sean.

George Lazenby Film

The next actor to take on the famous role was Australian George Lazenby, although never an actor, he managed to convince the producers to give him the starring role, by turning up in a new suit, Rolex watch and a new style haircut, in fact the only other time that he was in front of a camera was as a model doing some modelling work, the action side of the part came easy to him as he had a military background.

During the filming of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, where he played Bond alongside Diana Rigg there were many, many rumours of upsets on set especially between the two main stars.
Diana accused George of being late on set, throwing tantrums and storming off which infuriated the producers and staff, there were also rumours of scuffles after Lazenby made some lewd comments.

Lazenby on the other hand said that he hated kissing Rigg as she deliberately ate huge amounts of garlic before shooting any kissing scenes, something that she denied.​

Remarkably Lazenby declined a 7 film contract with a $1 Million dollar bonus with the studio after finishing his role on Her Majesty`s, stating that he thought Bond was finished as the current climate is all about peace and love and hippie thought process, how wrong was he?

TITLE

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

YEAR

1969

VILLAIN

Grunther

BOND GIRL

Teresa Di Vicenzo

CAR

Aston Martin DB5

PROFIT (MILLIONS)

64.6