I wash my dishes in a thimble full
And reuse most of my crockery
I wipe plates clean with kitchen roll
But I sanitize my cutlery

I invert my clothes to get more wear
Until they start to stink
I consider the use of the washing machine
Or a hand wash in the sink

I know of boaters who multitask
Do their laundry whilst they shower
Swish their smalls round with their feet
Saving water and pump power

I can wet wipe wash for many days
But I won't tell you how many
I dry shampoo instead of wet
Don't flush when spending a penny

My teeth are cleaned in record time
I don't rinse off all the paste
Leave in conditioner's revolutionary
Saving also on water waste

I cook veg in the smallest amount
I braise and don't sous vide
I scramble eggs, don't boil or poach
And I've never bain-marie'd

I don't recycle the hot bottle water
when making myself a brew
That's just taking it a step too far
And will probably make me...
poorly