The fuel gauge is in the red
and the leisure batteries are low
The elsan's brimming over
but my bladder still says go

The day light's fading quickly
I'm on a countdown clock
My solar power's dipping
and there's something round my prop

I've a dwindling kindling pile
And I'm getting low on coal
I've burnt all of the tow path talks
And used all of my toilet roll

I double dip t bags
Have pot noodles for my tea
Though my gas is on the blink
And it's ever so draughty

I'm living on the edge
At the end of my gang plank
I'm running out of water
and my cider's all been drank

You may think that it sounds rough
With no hot water on demand
And patchy phone reception
No proper WiFi nor broadband

But the benefits trump the hardships
I'm more happy and healthy
I wouldn't swop for mortar and brick
It's a boater's life for me