wedding bells

tales of the old cut

wedding bells

The simple fact that of all people who pop up in my research, 99% of them are dead means I can find myself surrounded by a monosyllabic trail of funeral notes and burial records. The weather as I type this is far too lovely to write about death and destruction, so today we’re looking at weddings.

In today’s world there is a somewhat bizarre concept of ‘jumping over a mopstick’ for a boater getting married, which appears to be a corruption of the idea of jumping over a broomstick to solidify a union that wouldn’t be recognised by the church. This was indeed a real custom among the Romany peoples (as well as within the enslaved peoples), but ‘broomstick marriages’ were not legal and were viewed with scorn by the vast majority of the population, boaters included.

So how did a boater ‘tie the knot’? The answer is actually a little dull; he tied it in the church, like
everyone else.

While they weren’t, as a rule, particularly religious, the idea of getting married in anywhere other than a church was simply dismissed out of hand. Even as late as 1934, a registry office wedding was derided as a poor choice. “They don’t go to church, except to be married, as a rule. But you will never hear of one being married in a registry office, nor of a woman going on another trip after confinement until she has been churched” described one old boater to a journalist for the Express and Star.

Boaters rarely married people not off the canal, in much the same way that miners tended to stay within their communities; it is very hard for an outsider to understand and assimilate into a way of life so alien to them. There were also the practicalities of meeting a potential mate; boaters didn’t really get the chance to meet anyone other than other boaters.

young lovers on narrowboat

Courtship was conducted mostly on the move, with the young couple having a shy conversation as their boats passed and perhaps going for a little walk together if their boats were at the same wharf at the same time, staying within viewing distance of the young lady’s family of course. Messages and signs could be left for each other on lock beams, scrawled using the grease from the paddle gear. In later years, when bicycles made their way to the boats, a young man might cycle for miles back along the towpath at the end of the working day just to spend half an hour in his young lady’s company.

When the couple were ready for marrying, the young man would approach the company and ask if there was a boat he could have for his own. This was no different to a couple ‘on the bank’ having to organise their own first home, and in fact it was far quicker. Sometimes he might have to wait for a little before a boat was available, but he didn’t need to buy his boat and there was nothing to spend on furniture as the cabin would already be fitted out; all the couple needed was their clothes, some bedding and some crockery.

The process of the wedding was much the same as it was for anyone else when it came to the legal side. As described in 1934, “When the daughter of a boatman agrees to marry the son of another boatman, the two put up Banns at churches at both ends of the canal on which they work. When the two boats meet at the same terminus wharf, the wedding takes place, and it is always attended by a large and picturesque gathering of boat people. The couple have already secured a boat for themselves, and their honeymoon is to a journey to Chester and Ellesmere Port carrying perishable goods.”​

The “picturesque” gathering the journalist describes would invariably be based around a pub. There might be a few boaters playing music and as last orders got called at the bar at around 10pm, a few water cans might be filled up with beer to allow the merriment to continue outside.

Invariably, the majority of the wedding party, happy couple included, would be away as usual the following morning. The newly-weds would often be sent to their boat with ribald comments harking back to the ‘bedding ceremony’ of years gone by, with one young man being handed a small cigar by another man: “for affer my lad, for affer” he winked.

Of course what I’ve described here is what you could call the romantic matches, young love. There were far more pragmatic second marriages, where widows and widowers would “make a match” of convenience rather than romance. Either gender of spouse could find themselves bereaved and left with a pair of boats to work and just a few kiddies as crew, and it made far more sense to marry someone in a similar situation.

marriage certificate 1895

One man took pragmatism to new levels in 1895 when he called in at the Nantwich workhouse and asked if they could recommend any of the women inmates as a potential bride. Born around 1825, Samuel Walker appears to have been working for the Shropshire Union Company, and just 6 months prior to mooring “Berlin” up at Nantwich to go window-shopping for a wife, he’d been at Market Drayton burying his last. The women of the workhouse don’t appear to have been too disconcerted by the prospect of taking up with a boater, and some 50 were brought forward and 45 year old Sarah Shone duly captured the questionable prize.

newspaper report

newspaper cutting

Perhaps unsurprisingly; Sarah very quickly lost interest in working a horseboat with her husband and ran off, allegedly taking up with a blind fiddle player in Manchester. Despite Samuel’s willingness to take back his errant wife, he never saw her again. He must have found someone to work his boat with him though, as he appears to eventually die at Ellesmere Port in 1901.

crossing the border

old number 38

crossing the border

It’s me!
I’m back.
Don’t raise your eyes to the heavens like that, it’s very off putting.

Anyway, never mind where I’ve been, I’d like to tell you where I’m going.
Sorry, what was that? You hope it’s ‘A long walk off a short pier.’ Well thanks very
much. Love you too.
So, ploughing on regardless.
I’m going out with the lads.
On a narrow boat.
That’s right.
Me, on a boat.
On the cut.
After all these years of writing for this esteemed magazine I shall finally be getting my sea legs.
Do they still sell Kwells at the chemist?

moored narrowboat

Pardon? Where are we going?

We’re off across the border, from the Black Country to Brumagem, England’s second city.
Better get my passport and visa sorted then.
And my inoculations. Beri beri, Dengue fever and a shot of Sambuka.
And a phrase book. Hard to understand these Brummies.
I shall of course go prepared. Hard hat, hi-viz life jacket, beer goggles, wooden leg (I’m told all the best sailors have one) and a parrot on the shoulder.

Did you ask, ‘What sort?’
It’ll be a Norwegian Blue I think.
Oh sorry, ‘What port?’
Well we’ll be putting out of Hinksford Wharf on the Monday and plotting a course for somewhere up by Gas Street Basin. Very challenging - I believe we have to turn left at Stourton.
Better take my sextant.
Stop tittering - this is serious stuff.

Cap’n Dec will be in charge of steering and technical stuff like that.
Bart will probably be cabin boy.
And I no doubt will be put on lookout duties in the crows nest, scanning the horizon for tempests, Sirens trying to lure us onto the rocks and stuff like that.
A very responsible position - I’ve heard that up around Smethwick ‘there be dragons.’
Blue of course will be the ship’s mascot and figurehead, and as befitting his status will
have his lead tied to the prow.

border collie with pirate necktie

What’s that?
Supplies?
We shall of course be well provisioned. 96 cans of Carling Black Label, 10 litres of Jack Daniels (I prefer that to a rum ration) and a plate of cheese and pickle sarnies which we will probably eat on the way back.
Better take some cling film, don’t want them going too crusty.
There will of course be hostelries for the weary traveller along the way, so we shall moor alongside wherever we pass one.

How long are we going for did you ask?
Four days.
Two days there, two days back with a stop in the middle to take in a concert by Hollywood Vampires.
We can restock the cans and bottles whilst we’re there. And get rid of the empties of course.
Perhaps, as we’ve crossed the border, it might be duty free?

You what?
Hollywood Vampires? That’s Alice Cooper, Johnny Depp and that bloke out of Aerosmith whose name no one can ever remember. Perhaps I should have called it a gig, not I concert. We’re not going to see the Philharmonic play Mozart after all.

Coming back should be easier of course - it’s downhill.

In other news, my brother...

What?
Yes, that’s right, the looney who walked from John O’Groats to Land’s End a few years back, taking a little detour to do the 3 peaks and a wander around the South West Coast Path.
Glad you’ve been paying attention!

hiker leaning on stile

Well he’s heading off on a little stroll again, from the Town Hall in Brumagem, down to
Gas Street again funnily enough. To Bourneville, where the chocolate comes from, along the Stratford canal to Hatton Locks and down the Grand Union to Brentford. Then it’s along the Thames to the Houses of Parliament. I tried to explain that it’s not a circus, but he insists that he wants to see some clowns.

All the way from Brumagem to Londinium.
Down the cut!
That’s right, you might see him, hobbling along. He is of course younger than me; taller too, but not as good looking.

He wants to get there in a maximum of 5 days, preferably less, so don’t try to pat him on the back or you might get towed along in his slip stream and end up in Berkhamsted.
He’ll be walking from 9 to 5 each day (Didn’t her with the chest do a song about that?)
He raised over 10k last time for Macmillan Cancer, but at the time of this exclusive report he hasn’t decided if he’s going to be sponsored.

So absolutely no point him going then in my honest opinion.

Anyway, nice chatting but I got stuff to do.

See you soon - I’ll let you know how we get on...

almost double vision

almost double vision

a mayfly-ish adventure begins

At the island the reception committee of Dave Harris, Jenny Cartwright, the Ward sisters and Jess had been waiting by the jetty for about twenty minutes, each scanning the distance for the familiar form of Mayfly.
“They’re not usually so late back,” Em said. “I hope there’s no trouble.”
“They’ll be here presently,” Dave replied reassuringly. “Those two aren’t about to take any chances with you, so everything will have to be right.”
“It’s probably us that’ll sink the thing,” Dee added playfully, to a rather scornful look from Jenny
Cartwright, who had momentarily slipped back into head teacher mode.
“I can see them through the bins!” Dave smiled. “Not a bad little craft they’ve got for you.”
A quick handing round of the binoculars confirmed that there were indeed two boats heading their way.
There need have been no worry as to the reliability of the motor, which had plodded steadily upriver with a solid sounding beat that gave the feeling that, with enough fuel, it could continue in the same way for decades without stopping to draw breath.
“Can we get aboard and see her properly,” Em almost squeaked, in a reprise of her eight year old self, as Amanda drew up at the jetty.
“Let the girl tie her up first!” Jenny said, deftly catching the ropes thrown by Amanda and, to Dave’s surprise, making them fast with very well tied knots of the correct type for the job.
“What?” she added, answering Dave’s incredulity “I was a Girl Guide you know. I can tie knots and dig latrines with the best of them.”
“We were taught, but I never had to dig one at camp,” Amanda replied, also slightly surprised at her former head teacher’s hidden skill. “Right you two. I need to show you round,” she added as she turned to accept the lines from Jim, who had neatly laid Mayfly alongside.

canal boat and bridge

lift bridge

Whilst on the outside the Willow Wisp III was slightly larger than Jim and Amanda’s boat, the inside seemed smaller due to the presence of the small inboard engine which took a fair bit of cabin and cockpit space. Also, the craft was like a miniature copy of larger cabin cruisers, and had not addressed very well the waste of space associated with features such as the sink and galley area. Whilst nice to have the sink in theory, it was too low and fed by gravity from a water tank that took up too much room in the bow, providing little more than a trickle from the tap. The stove was rather impractically placed, and its gas supply took up yet more room. The seemingly more Spartan arrangements on Mayfly were preferred by both parties, but, this was a boat, it was functional and it cost nothing to hire.
“It’s different, but so are we,” Dee smiled. “Thanks for letting us go with you.”
All the hastily made arrangements seemed to have fallen into place, which was taken by all as a good omen. After a couple of days preparation it was time to set off and Dee gingerly took the starting handle, making herself ready to turn the motor over. It took three attempts, and she had a good feeling when it did start. As Amanda was most used to the new boat, she teamed up with Dee for the first few miles, leaving Jim with Em on the Mayfly. Whilst she would have liked to start the journey on the boat that was to be her home for a while, she was more than happy to assist Jim. He had made a strong impression on her as an eight year old, and though it was five years since that time, she still had the same feeling about him. Here was someone that would have been the best of elder brothers. Then he played to her impish curiosity, and made her laugh with his daft jokes and mannerisms. Now he spoke to her more as an equal, still witty but less likely to pull punches when there was something important to be said.

boat moored

“Did you just go like this?” she asked, with some of the eight year old curiosity in her voice.
“It was darker, and we kind of slipped away in the night. Not far, just to that island up there,” he pointed.
“We were fugitives.”
“Were you scared?” Em replied.
“Completely,” Jim said, remembering the day. “I’d set out for a holiday, and there I was running away for goodness knows how long with someone I’d only met a couple of days before, probably laying myself open to all sorts of criminal charges into the bargain..”
“I wasn’t scared when we set off down here,” Em smiled.
“Liar,” Jim was quick with his answer.
“That’s unkind!” Em laughed.
“It’s true though isn’t it,” Jim added. “I bet it walloped you when you shut the front door.”
“Not then. It was when we got off the coach and went walking to find you and Amanda. I just thought.
What the hell have I done!”
“So I was right. You were scared,” Jim smiled.
“Jim! You tricked me,” Em laughed.
“I could see you were putting a brave face on it.” Jim replied There’s not many secrets when you’re on the water. You’ll find the news of this trip will already be about twenty or so miles ahead of us.”
“So why are we doing this trip?” Em’s question demanded a proper answer.
“We know where your dad is, and he asked us to look after you, which we’d have done regardless. Your Mum is returning soon enough, but she’ll be a while yet,” Jim paused. “That doesn’t mean that you should both be sat on cotton wool and mothballs. We were heading north to a canal festival anyway, and you two need to enjoy your summer.”
“To a normal person, that’d sound really daft,” Em smiled. “But I don’t think any of us are normal are we. That’d be boring!”

moored boat

Adapted from “Emily’s Journey” by Michael Nye.
This version
©2023 Michael Nye.

you can’t beat a good night’s sleep

you can't beat a good night's sleep

First some good news! Even after a long very cold very wet winter, for the first time in ages Dawn Treader (DT) doesn’t need a coat of paint, the vinyl wrap making her still look fresh. Now the bad news: shut down for months like so many boats, little or no air has circulated. So we have the usual musty mould under lockers, in cupboards, etc. - all of which need a good wash out. I’ve tried these moisture absorbing crystals etc, but nothing beats opening all lockers, windows, vents, and cushion tops, as a couple of nights on board have been cold . Nothing absorbs water like a boat mattress – but I have a cunning plan later.

The boat isn’t going anywhere without an engine; amazingly mine fired up, but only on the pull start, not the electric. This really started to annoy me - mainly because it’s a beast to pull over by hand. But why wasn’t it working off the electric start especially when the starter was cranking it with gusto? The internet and especially boat forums seem to be full of people that think they know more than they do and gaily start ripping bits off an engine convincing themselves that if it isn’t x it must be y. But my engine runs, so no need to touch it.

A phone call to an old friend Mr Adrian Rush left me slightly deflated as he immediately pointed out the bleeding obvious. If my cushions etc are full of damp, I bet that the engine hasn’t enjoyed the rain, mist and freezing temperatures any better. So one can of WD 40, some emery cloth and a can of silicone waterproofing spray, and every electrical connection was taken apart cleaned and waterproofed. And now it runs like a new engine - for 10 quid’s worth of spray.

Next job - dinghy's out and I scrub her hull, especially the water line. Here is a neat trick: take two long mooring ropes and run them fore and aft under the hull ( you cant do side to side because of keel boards) then if you have a wife, partner or child that actually sets foot on board – one pulls one way one pulls the other and all the fresh water mussels , crud etc comes off. If you are on your own like me, then you have to use some ingenuity. Secure the bow end to the bank, then pull the stern end so the boat moves forward over the scrubbing rope. This also works a treat!

I’ve never liked the bunks on boats, its sort of a compromise between serious back injury as cushions depart from under you and freezing to death as they are right down in the hull. When I stared sail training at 15 some of the old boats still had hammocks -hmmm I wonder. The internet is a wonderful thing. Two hours later and an ex 1960s Royal navy hammock is purchased. Ok, in the advert it did say may need a clean and has aroma of old canvas and tarred hemp, and after my first extremely comfortable warm and snug night I am writing this smelling something akin to the sail locker on the Cutty Sark.

man asleep in hammock

However, I am up out the way with air flowing underneath me and mine had the original flaps for the support boards. More importantly my bed clothes cannot fall out – quite the reverse, we are in a cocoon. I am not going to teach you to string and rope a hammock – basically you can alter their shape to suit by lengthening or shortening the support strings. The great advantage is you can furl it up out the way, in fact it’s so good I am chucking out the folding bed, giving me some much-needed space below.

Interestingly in the pursuit of a decent article I left a thermometer on the forward bunks and one above my hammock. The difference in temperature last night was 3 degrees. This doesn’t sound a lot I know, but I assure you, 7 degrees is more comfortable than 4.

Meanwhile I am still on a mission to make this boating as cheap as possible, and I suppose we are all missing the point – sustainability is living in the raw as means as possible. Maybe we have forgotten that a boat isn’t a house and indeed that must be half its charm. So, I have made a point of not using any gas, pulling over and lighting the Kelly kettle. I am after a spirit stove, but then, it would seem, so is half the world as a second hand one is still £200. Indeed, I have decided that for all the gas is coming out, it's just far too expensive. The electric motor is now bolted permanently to the transom, giving me the boost to get DT moving, and here’s something odd which needs investigating – I have a feeling it ends up as a charger, because as boat moves along, I seem to be getting a better charge into battery (though more than likely it’s because I cleaned all connections).

Now if you will excuse me – time to heat some water on Kelly kettle, grab a bucket and head for the shower – I seriously do smell like an old sail locker.

theft prevention

theft prevention

With the summer cruising season well underway, River Canal Rescue (RCR) has put together some boat safety tips to help prevent theft: 

  • Fit a good quality alarm with warning signs and a GPS tracker  (the latter’s also included within our new platinum membership package) 
  • Consider a smart boat monitoring system. Connection permitting, you’ll be able to remotely monitor what’s happening and be alerted if your boat moves  
  • Fit security lighting and CCTV 
  • Leave a low-power LED internal light on, or set it up via a timer switch  
  • Fit window guards and bars across entrance doors  
  • Use high-quality door locks and heavy-duty internal hasps. If using padlocks, buy cylinder high-security van types – they’re harder to pick, but be mindful a padlock is a clear signal you’re not onboard 
  • Never leave your key in the ignition and carry your boat key separately 
  • Remove your battery isolator keys and keep them with you or put them somewhere safe (it’ll stop someone starting the engine and moving the boat)  
  • Store the serial number of your engine and gear box, and hull identification number. This will help the police and CRT track your vessel if it is moved, and don’t leave original registration documents onboard, it makes it easier to transfer ownership   
  • Transfer essential documents onto your phone, laptop or tablet and store the information on the cloud- so you can recover it if necessary  
  • Lock your valuables away/ move them out of sight and mark with a UV marker pen or the newer forensic dna marker pen – it makes it easier to return stolen goods to owners  
  • Buy a locking fuel cap - in addition to the financial loss, you’ll be stranded without fuel 
  • If you have a roof box, remove any valuables and leave nothing on show  
  • Chain up bikes 
  • Curtains - open or closed? There are differing opinions, so we suggest a compromise – pull them halfway so anyone peering in can’t tell if you’re there or not 
  • Chain your boat to moorings in urban areas, heavy-duty cable ties also work if you clamp ropes together close to bollards and t-stands 
  • If moored near other boaters, let them know you’re leaving the boat and give them your contact details so you can be reached. 

RCR managing director, Stephanie Horton, adds: “While marinas provide the safest moorings, it’s not always practical to be in one. When mooring away from marinas, check the surrounding area, does it look safe, how accessible is the towpath, is there lighting, are there buildings or houses nearby?   

“Know your location – find out from Google Maps or other apps whether there’s a pub, local landmark or named streets near to you, make a note of the postcode in case you have to make an emergency call.   

“If you’ve invested in deterrents such as alarms, trackers, commercial-grade security etc, thieves may consider the boat too difficult to break into. And your outlay could be off-set with cheaper premiums as insurers will recognise your efforts.

“If you do encounter a problem, our rapid response team can help minimise damage in some emergency scenarios, where the stability of your vessel is at risk, but in others, such as vandalism and theft, insurers require you to take steps first. 

“This means boarding up your craft, reporting the incident to the police (and getting a crime number), taking photos, recording what’s missing and contacting your insurance company as soon as possible.  This evidences a ‘duty of care’ and should help the claim progress more smoothly.

“Your insurer will also expect you to have taken reasonable precautions including locking your boat and removing any on-deck gear when the boat’s unattended. Claims are only paid if force is used to break into the boat.  

“Being part of our waterway community means there are tools and organisations to support you if your boat is stolen. Go online first, it can return some impressive results. When we were notified of a stolen boat in Nottingham, we shared it online and within an hour and a half, the boat was found, and we had a description of who took it and where it had been. Social media and online forums are great at spreading the word.

“The Canal & River Trust can also assist police with surveillance, via its UK-wide network of employees and volunteers.”

Stephanie concludes: “The boating community is a great deterrent to would-be thieves; we look out for each other and are keen to give a helping hand when needed. Although this can help with crime prevention, it may not be enough to stop opportunistic thieves helping themselves to your belongings and even your boat (it’s not only boaters who take to the water when the weather’s warmer and the evenings lighter). 

These tips make it harder to steal a boat, and the more time would-be thieves have to spend on the vessel, the more likely they’ll draw attention to themselves, and want to leave the mooring.”

this space still needs love

this space still needs love

building dialogue

“This Space Needs Love” pleads a colourful headline over a photo of the Westway Highway’s drab underbelly. One side features trees, sun-dappled water and stand up paddleboarders coming round the bend. On the other are 100 metres of bare dirt and cinder block for which Architect Sophie Nguyen’s advertisement for a 2017 London Festival of Architecture program solicits attention.

grand union designs poster

For over 50 years people have tried to remedy the fallout from constructing the A4, possibly London’s “most notorious highway” through North Kensington. Its completion in 1971 relieved traffic between Shepherds Bush and Central London. It also displaced an estimated 3000 people for every mile of elevated road. As a textbook case in how NOT to build urban infrastructure, it prompted new practices including the requirement of environmental impact studies for future projects, and creation of a trust to manage programs on 23 acres of impacted land. One place they’ve been unable to effect is the covered stretch of canal beneath the Westway Flyover.

boat moored under flyover

Not that city planners haven’t tried. Two years after residents contributed ideas for Mrs. Nguyen’s renderings, the City of Westminster sponsored another architectural competition in partnership with the London Festival of Architecture. £30,000 was tendered for a month-long installation so residents could experience an idea rendered in three dimensions. Forty two designs were submitted. Seven firms were short-listed. “The Co-Mooring,” which coupled an architectural intervention with proposed policy changes and community activities, was the winner.

The website of winning team member Studio Yu describes its bold vision: A train of canal boats offering products and services. A sinuous blaze orange walkway encourages cyclists to slow down. Leafy nooks invite people to gather, eat ice cream from a boat-based vendor, or get their bicycle serviced from a floating repair shop … examples of interaction between the canal boat and local communities that might be replicated in similar overlooked, under-loved spaces throughout London’s 100 mile canal network.

Molly Anna provided a platform for the culminating event; a panel discussion with members of the selection committee including representatives of Architects Journal and the Maida Hill Neighbourhood Association. Ruchi Chakravarty, Urban Design Coordinator for the Westminster City Council, called attention to the “cathedral-like ceiling” of the sweeping concrete overhead. Sir William Atkinson, Chairman of the Canal and River Trust Advisory Board, spoke loftily about what partners might do to render positive changes permanent in this spot.

The festival ended. Infrastructure was disassembled. The site regained its windswept look. Four years later, it’s time to revisit past efforts and see what we’ve learned, what’s changed and what’s now possible. In the wake of Covid, London needs outdoor venues more than ever, opportunities for people to re-connect and as hedges against return of a virus that shutters indoor venues.

music festival from boat in London

With support from the Westway Trust’s Events and Celebrations Program, Your Canal Boat CIC invites past participants — and all of the architectural firms who were short-listed for the competition — to return for a “Co-Mooring 2.0”, a weekend of performance to demonstrate the unrealised potential of this rare and special site, and discussion about the site’s future.  It’s planned for the 7th - 9th July.  Get in touch with admin@yourcanalboat.com  if you’d like to be involved.

the name’s bond, james bond

the name's bond, james bond

Little did the producers or author Ian Fleming know, that 1962 would be the start of a humungous franchise in the film entertainment industry?
James Bond was only known through the spy adventure novels written by Ian Fleming before being converted into action packed feature films that have spanned many decades.
The first Bond film was Dr No, and was panned by Fleming who quoted the film as being “dreadful”. Little did he know the impact that Bond would have on film -goers and critics over the next 50 years.

Throughout the years Bond has been a mainstay action character that has thrilled audiences right across the globe, with suaveness, style, and imaginary gadgetry to match.

Ian Fleming

The gadgets themselves could fill pages of text themselves, we at Bearingtech understand the inventiveness and engineering that these gadgets contain, something that we will touch on a little later, but who can forget the jet pack, the watches and best of all, the wonderful cars?

The thing with the gadgets, is that they all have to be thought of, then developed to try and convince the audience that they actually work, some are over the top, but how many people laughed at the intercom communicators in Star Trek as being far fetched, scroll forward a few years and those communicators turned into smart phones that we all use in todays techno world.

During this time there have been several actors who have portrayed the character on screen spanning the 25 films, all of which have been financially successful and entertaining, ok they are never going to win Oscars for acting, but how many other film genres can compete with the Bond saga, not many?

james bond gadget - watch

Swann

scaramanga

Safin

Sean Connery

The first actor, and undoubtedly the best Bond in many peoples eyes is Sir Sean Connery, real name Thomas and affectedly known in his younger years as Tommy, had no intention of becoming an actor and in fact took up roles as a milkman and a coffin polisher before joining the Royal and Merchant navy.

Legendary football manager Sir Matt Busby tried to persuade Connery to become a footballer by offering him a playing contract at Manchester United, but by that time the acting bug had kicked in and Sean decided to stick with it.

Although most peoples favourite Bond, author Ian Fleming was reluctant to offer him the role, preferring Cary Grant for the position, only for Grant to turn down the chance having felt to old for the part, so Connery was given the chance and after seeing Dr No Fleming was quoted as saying that he had made the right choice, even though he didn’t like the films layout.

Other actors who have been offered the role over the years include Christopher Lee, Burt Reynolds, Clint Eastwood, Adam West, Sam Neil, Gerard Butler, Sean Bean, Liam Neeson and surprisingly Hugh Grant.

After the success of Dr No, Connery was caught speeding by a police officer, who pulled him over, and was astounded when the officer told him his name it was Sargeant James Bond, you couldn’t make it up, could you?

Because Bond had to be seen as stylish, Connery had to wear a toupee throughout every Bond film that he made, after discovering that his hair was thinning in his late teens, in his private life he preferred to go natural.

Another glamorous side to the Bond films was the introduction of the Bond girls, who have adorned the screens in all the of the 25 films made, everybody remembers Honor Blackman, Halle Berry, Teri Hatcher, Britt Ekland amongst many others, but how many realise that other now famous actresses were turned down for the roles including Jane Fonda, Elle McPherson, Raquel Welch and Faye Dunaway to name a few?

After the success of Dr No came From Russia with Love, Goldfinger and Thunderball and audiences were hooked on the spectacular stunts and scenes that appeared on the screen, one famous scene during the filming of Goldfinger, actress Shirley Eaton had to be painted from top to toe in gold paint, subsequently killing her in the process due to suffocation, which is not accurate as the only way to suffocate someone is to cover the mouth and nose, still made a good scene though, something that everyone remembers.

Desmond Llewellyn as Q with the gadgets

Diana Rigg

Perry

Roger Moore

There was another unfortunate episode during the filming of Goldfinger as the actor Gert Frobe who was playing the villain, disliked the role for a dark reason and disapproved of it, because one​ of the scenes involved a gassing sequence, which he found very uncomfortable, as during World War II he was a member of the Nazi party.

The film itself was banned in Israel for years until a Jewish family revealed that Frobe had helped their family during the holocaust atrocities, which enabled the ban to be lifted.

Another famous scene during the Thunderball film involved a shark infested swimming pool, where Bond had to escape, during the filming the special effects department decided to use a dead shark and pull it towards Bond using wires, as they started to pull, they realised that the shark was in fact alive and started thrashing about, which agitated the other sharks and ended up in a blood frenzy, whilst the special effects people were still inside the pool.

Sean went on to make 6 Bond films for the Broccoli studios, before reprising the role for another studio in the re-make of Thunderball called Never Say Never Again alongside Kim Basinger.

Through an illustrious career he went on to make 93 films including Robin Hood Prince of Thieves where he donated his £250,000 appearance money to charity, his last film was the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. During this marvellous career he stayed friends with his best friend Michael Caine who he first met in 1954, the two became best friends up until the day he died, Caine was quoted as saying that he had lost his brother and best friend.

lotus

Lazenby

jaws

Honor Blackman

TITLE

Dr No
From Russia With Love
Goldfinger
Thunderball 1
You Only Live Twice
Diamonds Are Forever

YEAR

1962
1963
1964
1965
1967
1971

VILLAIN

Julius No
Ernst Blofeld
Auric Goldfinger
Emilio Largo
Ernst Blofeld
Mr Wint & Mr Kidd

BOND GIRL

Honey Ryder
Tatiano Romanova
Pussy Galore
Domino Derval
Kissy Suzuki
Tiffany Case

CAR

Sunbeam Alpine
Bentley 3.5
Aston Martin DB5
Aston Martin DB5
Aston Martin DB5
Aston Martin

PROFIT (MILLIONS)

59.5
78.9
124.9
141.2
111.6
116.0

Graves

Goldfinger

Ian Fleming

Dalton

Gadgetry used

  • Dr No = Geiger counter, Cigarette with cyanide, Dragon tank that fire flames and Bionic hands
  • From Russia with Love = Special briefcase with .22 calibre sword, Teargas cartridge and a Spring-loaded knife, Bug detector, Dagger in the shoe, Garrote watch, Mini periscope, and Recording camera.
  • Goldfinger = Oddjob's hat with the metal rim, Homing beacons, Industrial laser, Parking meter, tear gas unit and a Wetsuit with a sea-gull on top as a decoy.
  • Thunderball = Homing pill, Jetpack, Underwater jetpack, Underwater camera, Mini Vey pistol, Cassette recorder in a book, Electrocution staff chair and Skyhook.
  • You Only Live Twice = Mini rocket cigarette, Waterproof Body bag, Jet propelled bullets, Little Nelle gyro-copter, Gyro rocket guns, X Ray desk, Lipstick gas, Safe cracking device and Poison delivery string.
  • Diamonds Are Forever = Biometric fingerprint scanner, Fake fingerprints, Piton pistol, Pocket snap trap, Electromagnetic ring, and a Voice changer.
  • Fascinating Fact = Sean Connery was morbidly terrified of spiders, which didn’t go down too well while playing Bond in Dr No, as there was a scene where a tarantula had to crawl on him, filming was saved as the props department inserted a Perspex sheet between the spider and Sean.

Daniel Craig

Sean Connery

Brosnan

Bond with jet

George Lazenby Film

The next actor to take on the famous role was Australian George Lazenby, although never an actor, he managed to convince the producers to give him the starring role, by turning up in a new suit, Rolex watch and a new style haircut, in fact the only other time that he was in front of a camera was as a model doing some modelling work, the action side of the part came easy to him as he had a military background.

During the filming of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, where he played Bond alongside Diana Rigg there were many, many rumours of upsets on set especially between the two main stars.
Diana accused George of being late on set, throwing tantrums and storming off which infuriated the producers and staff, there were also rumours of scuffles after Lazenby made some lewd comments.

Lazenby on the other hand said that he hated kissing Rigg as she deliberately ate huge amounts of garlic before shooting any kissing scenes, something that she denied.​

Remarkably Lazenby declined a 7 film contract with a $1 Million dollar bonus with the studio after finishing his role on Her Majesty`s, stating that he thought Bond was finished as the current climate is all about peace and love and hippie thought process, how wrong was he?

TITLE

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

 

YEAR

1969

VILLAIN

Grunther

BOND GIRL

Teresa Di Vicenzo

 

CAR

Aston Martin DB5

PROFIT (MILLIONS)

64.6

Daniel Craig

Sean Connery

Brosnan

Bond with jet

the tragedy of the ‘lady luck’

the tragedy of the 'lady luck'

a gruesome tale of murder and suicide on water

Mrs. Morris’ Ordeal

Ernest Spencer owed her £5. For a housewife in Nechells, inner city Birmingham, it was no mean sum; in 1958, £5 was approximately £250 in today’s terms, there was just one catch; she would have to collect it from the narrowboat, ‘Lady Luck’ moored at Tardebigge.

Margaret Ann Morris (51), who lived in Trevor Street, Nechells, had known Ernest Spencer and his wife, Edith, for 32 years. They had been more than friends and neighbours - she and Ernest had lived together for a year; the Spencer’s marriage was far from harmonious. Ernest Spencer, a thick set, squat, heavily built man, had just sold his share of a painting and decorating business to his brother, George, who lived in Saltley, bought an old working boat and, with his wife, Edith, had spent these last ten months converting it into a houseboat.

Nechells in 1958, was a sooty, grimy, unhealthy place. The fiver notwithstanding, Margaret was only too keen for a quick drive into the country, to reclaim her debt and escape the urban squalor for a while. Ernest, after all, was a successful painter and decorator, he must have had some buccaneering flair to him; not many people would choose to renovate and live on an old working boat in 1958, no matter how bad the housing in the blitzed city centre.

Ernest collected her, in his car, from Aston, Church Street, and drove her back to The Lady Luck, moored, with ten other boats, at Tardebigge New Wharf. He was agitated, on edge, not his usual self. At 2:30p.m on Wednesday 29th January 1958, Mrs Morris, stepped aboard the ‘Lady Luck.’ It was deathly quiet but for the puff and grunt of steam engines heaving up the Lickey incline and the hollow shrill of their whistles, echoing around the hills.

The Lady Luck was tidy, everything in order, except forward, in the enclosed well deck, which was ‘stuffed up’ with old coats and a wardrobe shoved carelessly into a corner. Ernest’s eyes were wild, as were his actions, repeatedly he punched himself in the face, babbling; “I’ve done something I’ve meant to do for 32 years,” then he went to the galley, pulled out a kitchen knife from a drawer, and played with it momentarily, before placing it back. “I’ve bought you to the boat,” he explained to Mrs Morris, “...to do you in.”

“Where’s Edith?” Mrs. Morris asked. “At her son’s, in Kingstanding,” was the reply. It was a lie. Behind the wardrobe, beneath a mackintosh and an old brown coat, lay Mrs. Edith Spencer. She’d been dead at least three hours.

Tardebigge, July, 2021

The story of the Lady Luck by came to me by accident. Watching an old Pathé Newsreel, entitled, ‘Is murder increasing?’ there was an eight second segment, with a shot of the new wharf, and, what looked like a sound, comfortable boat of approximately seventy foot. Sixty years on I recognized the place; the serrated rooftops of the boatyard, the Georgian façade of, what was, the Plymouth Arms, while a plummy voice intoned “Quite lately, on a canal houseboat near Redditch, a woman was found killed...”

I’d spent my first winter aboard my own boat in Tardebigge. I’d a nose for local folk-lore and macabre history, yet had never heard about the Lady Luck, why? Surely a swarm of journalists would have made an impression in such a back-water, something to remember, but, whoever I asked, always said they were ‘too young’ or ‘my parents would have remembered but they’re dead,’ no-one could recall the Spencer’s or their narrowboat, Lady Luck.

newspaper cutting of murder and suicide on boat

My first call was to Redditch Library and a trawl through back copies of the Redditch Indicator. There it was, ‘February 1958’ the case of the Lady Luck made front page news. “Man Strangles Wife.” And some of the detail became clear to me. Unfortunately, the paper had been damaged, and the vital details, involving the role of Mrs. Margaret Morris, had been destroyed. So, while moored in Tardebigge, I asked around in Alestones, ‘What d’ y’ know about the Lady Luck?’ Every face was a blank. On Sunday mornings I haunted the churchyard, interrogating parishioners as they left Sunday worship, the nearest I got to any first hand sources was; “I was just a child; I don’t remember.” A wall of silence; Tarbebigge did not want to remember.

Ernest and Edith Spencer

Almost exactly ten years before the Lady Luck another, better known boat, was berthed in exactly the same spot. Tom Rolt and his second wife, Sonia, moored up Cressy and remained there throughout the Second World War. It was there they met Robert Aikman and founded British Waterways. Tom Rolt, as I so often tell anyone who will listen, was the father of all modern liveaboards, and, eleven years later, another boat moored there, an ex-working boat, sides painted black and green, a plywood canopy cast over its hold, which once transported fruits from the orchards of Burcott or fuel from black country, transformed into domesticity, with six windows either side, and two portholes, peering from an enclosed well-deck, like eyes.

Ernest Spencer, born in 1906, must have been a pioneer. He was a painter, decorator, builder, by trade and, after the Second World War, can’t have been in want of work. According to his brother, George Spencer, he sold his share of their joint painting and decorating business and ‘retired’ at the age of 51, and, like many contemporary narrowboaters, must have forsaken finance, for the dream of freedom aboard a boat, after all, 51, was a young age to retire in 1958.

For Edith, however, there is little information. Records show she was born in Yorkshire in 1905 and must have drifted down to Birmingham; she married Ernest Alfred Spencer in the 1920’s. Her life would, most likely, been one of domestic drudgery.

Questioned by the Coroner their son, Edward Albert Spencer, admitted, “There had been troubles.” Saying Ernest had, “left her (Edith) for a time but were back together by September, (1957).” Edward Spencer also testified, “I saw them three weeks ago.” December, 1957, “...they seemed very well.” Tellingly, he added they were “...falsely happy.”

Ernest and Edith, had been aboard the Lady Luck for ten months, they must have moved aboard around about March, 1957, and, if their marriage was in a poor state, with Ernest having once lived in sin with Mrs. Morris, perhaps they thought a joint project, like renovating a narrowboat, would bring them together. Clearly it didn’t.

Murder

Even today Tardebigge is a lonely place to moor. The nearest shop is three miles away and winter there, with long, cold, nights and little distraction is hard enough now, let alone 63 years ago. For Edith, cooped up in a small cabin, further confined by the extremities of winter (metrological reports show 20 days of snow in the Midlands in November alone) with a husband who had recently, and blatantly, been un-faithful to her, was to prove disastrous.

Lady Luck moored at Tardebigge in 1958

Any couple on a narrowboat will tell you that arguments are not uncommon. A mix of claustrophobia, sharing a small space, inevitably leads to flair ups; in this case it proved tragic. No-one knows exactly what happened when Edith died. Most likely a full blown row erupted between them, careless or hurtful words exchanged. Ernest, in a fury, throttled Edith.

To die by strangulation is a particularly cruel, intimate death. The Pathologist, Professor J.M. Webster found bruising on the left and right neck muscles, her tongue had been forced upwards and there were small haemorrhages in her voice box, temple and eyes, consistent, he testified, to manual strangulation from the front. Ernest would have looked his wife in the eyes as he squeezed the life out of her. It would have taken up to two minutes for life to be extinguished, even under British Law today, such a protracted attack would stand as an act of premeditation. He could have stopped but Ernest saw it through.

With his wife’s body at his feet he then fetched a length of cord and knotted it around the dead woman’s neck, to make certain of her demise, then, hidden her body behind the wardrobe, covered it in old coats then, taking care to lock the boat, climbed into his car and drove to Nechells in search of his erstwhile lover, Mrs. Morris.

Mrs. Morris’ Testimony

District coroner, Mr. B.G.Evers, informed Mrs. Morris, somewhat coyly, that she “need not give evidence that may incriminate her.” She was, after all, a married woman, but she and Spencer had been living together for a year, and implications of sexual assault are chilling.

Mrs. Morris was held, against her will aboard the Lady Luck for about 28 hours, arriving there at 2:30pm, the Wednesday of Edith’s murder. The exchanges with the coroner were reported in full. “Did you stay the night there?” Asked the coroner, “Yes, he made me stay.” “When did you leave the boat?” “About 6:30pm the following day.” “Did he turn you out?” “No. I pleaded with him to let me go.” “Did he threaten to strangle you, or anything of that sort?” “Yes.” “Did he attempt it?” “No.” “Did he say anything about his wife then?” “Well, he said ‘I have done something I have been waiting to do for 32 years.’” “Did he indicate what that was?” “He put up his hands and said ‘with these.’” “When you say he was ‘different’ can you give any indication as to his state of mind?” “Well, his eyes looked wild and he was walking up and down and knocking his head with his hands.” “What did he tell you to do when people were walking along the towpath?” “Hide.” “And in order to get away from him...did you, in fact, have to promise you would return next day?” “Yes.” “That was in fact, a trick?” “Yes.” “You had no intention of returning the next day?” “No.”

Placated by this promise, Spencer drove Mrs. Morris back to Trevor Street, Nechells, she added further disturbing details. “He (Spencer) had always said he would do harm to his wife. He had threatened to do so on previous occasions and I did not think this was more serious than the others.” “After you left him in August you did not return to him?” “No.”
“You returned to your husband to whom you told the whole story?” “That is right.”

End Game

On Thursday, 30th of January, Ernest spent a long night, alone, aboard the ‘Lady Luck,’ the enormity of his actions sinking in. The homicide act, which limited the number of capital crimes, had been passed one year previously, and, while uxoricide no longer carried a statutory death sentence the prospect of an ignominious end on the gallows at Winson Green must have been on his mind along with the dawning realization that his lover, Mrs. Morris, reconciled with her husband, would not return to him.

Un-able to sleep he instead began writing a series of notes, the longest of which ran to several pages and was addressed to his Brother, George Spencer of Chartist Road, Saltley. On Friday he went straight to the nearest post office, located in Aston Fields, three miles away. There, he registered his letter and sent a telegram to his son, Edward, telling him to go immediately to his Uncle’s house. George’s boat, a small, cruiser type, painted red and white was moored just in front of the Lady Luck, George would know where to find him; to make sure, he used the telephone in canal inspector’s office to call his Brother that Friday evening.

To those who saw him that day, they claimed he “appeared quite normal.” His communique’s sent, he returned to the boat, unable to spend one more night there, alone with his thoughts and the corpse of the woman he’d throttled, still hidden beneath old coats behind the wardrobe. He locked the door from the inside, took a spoon, a glass of water, then a box of aspirins, poured the pills on to a sideboard and proceeded to crush them into a fine white powder. He then spooned it into the glass and drank it down. His final sensations would have been dizziness, shortness of breath, palpitations, maybe even hallucinations before, finally, suffering chest pains as he struggled to breathe. Collapsing forward, he struck his nose on the sideboard, causing a small abrasion. Ernest Spencer, like his victim hidden behind the wardrobe, died of asphyxiation.

Discovery

At 1:45p.m, Saturday, four police officers, led by Det. Inspector G.J. Davies of Bromsgrove and G.V Sedgwick of Redditch arrived at Tardebigge New Wharf by car, having been alerted by George Spencer. Police Constable Smith of Aston Fields described how they found the key to the boat, under a stone, near the stern entrance, and then forced the latch by reaching through the Kitchen window. On entering they were assailed by what was described as a guard dog, which had to be driven into another part of the boat. The door to the front compartment had been jammed shut, but, with some effort they heaved it open to discover Ernest, fully clothed, lying face down, and dead on the floor, followed by Edith behind the wardrobe. Ernest Spencer had cheated justice.

The bodies were removed to Bromsgrove mortuary where Professor Webster carried out an autopsy. On Sunday, relatives from Saltley, probably the brother, George, formally identified the bodies as that of Ernest and Edith Spencer. Next Wednesday, a week after Edith’s murder, a ninety minute inquest was held at Bromsgrove magistrate’s court.

the site at Tardebigge in 1921

The Final Insult

At the inquest the Coroner advised the jury that there were three possibilities: That Mrs Spencer had died accidently as the result of ‘rough and tumble.’ That Mrs. Spencer had provoked her husband, verbal provocation would have been enough, hence a verdict of
manslaughter or that she had been wilfully murdered.

Although the details of the notes left by Spencer and the letter sent to his brother were not made available to the press, one, particularly nasty detail, in what today’s parlance would be called ‘victim blaming,’ came out. In one of the notes Spencer claimed his wife came at him threatening to ‘scratch his eyes out.’ However, he was a powerfully built man - physically Edith would have been no match for him, borne out the Pathologists evidence. “Were there any marks on him that may have been caused by scratching?” “I could not see any which may have been caused by another party. There was a tiny abrasion on the second right knuckle but it did not seem to be anything that had been scratched out of him at all.”

Happily, the jury returned a verdict of wilful murder, despite Mrs. Morris’ testimony that he ‘was not in his right mind,’ his actions, writing to his Son and Brother, coolly using the canal inspectors telephone, securing the boat, all pointed to him being responsible for his actions.

On Friday, 7th February, exactly a week after his suicide, the bodies of Ernest and Edith Spencer were buried in an unmarked grave in St. Bartholomew’s, Tardebigge a graveside service conducted by the Rev. R.W. Underhill.

Remember Edith

On a drizzling day in February, almost 64 years to the day of their funeral, I found myself picking my way through the long grasses, the weathered and dilapidated tombstones and monuments in Tardebigge churchyard. Wiping the droplets from my phone, I read and re-read the e-mail that Jane Hall, the churchwarden had sent me. “The graveyard at Tardebigge is a bit higgledy-piggledy but we have the plot noted as row 14, plot 31...

interestingly Alfred is the only Christian name in the register but I checked the names against
the genes reunited website and couldn’t find Alfred Spencer but found; Ernest A Spencer who died in Bromsgrove district, 1958 aged 51.”

I’d become a little embarrassed asking ‘round Tardebigge about this case but Jane could not have been more obliging. Tantalizingly, she told me that the Rev. Underhill’s widow, still lived in Tardebigge and, although she was a centenarian, was still mentally sharp. She contacted Mrs. Underhill’s son, on my behalf, but I heard nothing back. All these years later, still no-one wanted to talk about the tragedy that unfolded on the Lady Luck, all those years ago.

I found the grave, un-marked, but for the mound of sandy soil, on the extremities of the churchyard, strewn with brambles and pitted with rabbit warrens it was almost impossible to tell there was a grave there at all, but the records bore it out. The last resting place of the Spencer’s, ironically, over-looking the place where the Lady Luck had been moored.

Spencers' grave - yards from where Lady Luck was last moored

It was fitting that I, another liveaboard boater, albeit from another age, should track them down; the Spencer’s were strangers to Tardebigge, outsiders like myself, buried quickly and forgotten quicker. Yet it pained me to think that Edith shared her grave with her killer and shared his ignominy. The case of the Lady Luck was, like any other squalid, domestic murder, of a kind repeated over and over again, year after year; a husband, murdering some-one whom he once purported to love. Perhaps it was the novelty of it occurring on a houseboat which bought the Pathé Newsreels here, and bought me here too, over half a century later?

It is a tale like so many others; a volatile, unfaithful husband who repeatedly threatened to murder his wife, warnings which went ignored until too late. A woman, robbed of a happy retirement, robbed of seeing children and grand-children, robbed of a decent grave and a decent memorial, locked in eternal bondage in the sandy soil with her killer.

It is a sad end to this sorry story but it is a story we must never forget. Remember Edith. Remember her.

decluttering our minds

decluttering our minds

Back in the day, when I was an Further Education College Lecturer, my yearly party piece was greeting my entire new student cohort (between 25-30 students) by their first names when they came back from their first coffee break on day 1 of the course. My ability to remember so many names in such a short time always drew a round of spontaneous applause. I’ve always found it easy to retain lots of (often useless) information and remember people’s names easily.

Looking back, I’m astonished by the amount of information I had to retain in my working and personal life, but we all do it; it sometimes feels as if our brains are full to bursting.

Nowadays, our desire to quantify and target so much of our lives can also add to information overload; we try to measure how many steps we walk, calculate our heart rates whilst exercising, count how many calories we consume and even record our sleep patterns.

We met a couple on a boat recently who had just picked their boat up from their home marina to cruise locally for a few days. When we told them we were liveaboards, we had the usual conversation about ‘what did you do with all your stuff’ and it transpired they lived in a 4 bedroomed house, had a motorhome and a caravan and 10 cars! They really wanted to be able to live on their boat, but couldn’t make the psychological leap to start to dispose of some of their possessions to realise that dream.

I can’t help but think, the more possessions we have, the more ‘brain space’ we need to maintain them and it’s only now we have so few possessions and such a simple life that I can live more easily in the present moment. I always struggled with the concept of living in the present whilst I was working; the idea of being ‘mindful’ seemed like an unattainable pipe dream. When I was teaching, most days involved planning ahead (living in the future) or analysing what I could have done better (living in the past). I rarely felt as if I was living my life in the present.

At this point in our lives, the things we need to think about and make decisions about are relatively few. Today, we walked a few miles along the towpath to find somewhere we can moor for a couple of weeks where we can walk into the nearest city to explore. Most urban mooring spots are for 48 hours only and we need somewhere that is less restricted.
We need to find the next water point, so we don’t run too low on water and to find a supermarket we can walk to as the freezer is running low and we need to stock up on fresh food too.

person doing yoga beside lake

We also need to find a suitable yoga spot, preferably somewhere flat without too many passing dog walkers....dogs love to bark at us and jump all over us for some reason. Maybe it’s our downward dog pose they can’t resist ha ha! The couple we spoke to this morning kept saying how brave we are which is a comment often directed at us, but we don’t feel brave at all. For us, it’s just about the choices we’ve made that feel right for us.

I’ve said before that this lifestyle isn’t without its disadvantages, but such a simple life literally frees up masses of brain space.

That mental space brings a clarity to life where you can truly hear the birds singing or a boat chugging past; you don’t feel compelled to calculate how many steps you’ve walked each day as having to walk to the supermarket or work your way through a flight of locks is ​‘exercise’ that is intrinsic to this lifestyle. Sleep generally comes easily; so much of our life is lived outdoors in the fresh air, so a 9.30pm bedtime is not unusual.

The irony of struggling to live in the present is that’s the only ‘place’ we can live, but life becomes so busy, it almost feels impossible. Work, family life, seeing friends and going to the gym fills our days and minds. The list of things to do seems endless; we lived that life for many years too.

Decluttering our minds takes awareness and is an opportunity to make different choices; within those choices is the freedom to learn new things, to discover new places and to meet new people. Simply having less to think about brings a mental clarity that allows us to live life as it unfolds and respond accordingly.

Clearly, it’s possible to declutter our minds without moving onto a narrow boat, but we need to find ways to do that which are compatible with a busy lifestyle and are suitable for us as individuals.

Some of the canal network is restricted at the moment due to low water levels, making route planning difficult; something we didn’t foresee when we moved on board. These challenges keep us mentally on our toes and mean we need to be adaptable and responsive to change.

We’re always conscious that life changes constantly and we need to be open minded to change, but decluttering our life has also allowed us to declutter our minds and truly live in the present.

can less be more?

can less be more?

our first year of continual cruising

sunset over water

We were starry eyed and excited as the prospect materialised and we set off into the sunset on this romantic notion of travelling on the canals in our home. Then as we turned the corner and negotiated our first set of locks, we lost propulsion. We were on our own and confused, our dream and wishes had become reality, but our first cruise had become a nightmare.

We were forced to seek the refuge of a marina where we found out so much about our boat and even more about ourselves. We spent too much time and even more money fixing her up whilst we mastered the art of floating. But the build-up to leaving was a rush and a count down. So, it was with equal measures of apprehension, excitement and sadness, that we started the engine and ventured out of our familiar, safe haven.

The second beginning of our odyssey took us up the Birmingham & Worcester and as we were going through Sidbury lock, we encountered our first tourists who quickly pulled out their cameras and started snapping away, photographing “the strange people who live in those dinky little boats”.

Even though we were clueless, we must have looked authentic, and it brought the widest smiles and most peculiar feeling to us; once out of earshot we reflected with embarrassed laughter. Having spent so long as voyeurs contemplating the whim, we were now being observed from the other end of the lens. It has become apparent to us during our journey that gongoozlers are so very, very curious. They want to chat and consider how us odd people live. Some want us to sell the dream, whilst others are disturbed by the prospect but generally the young are inspired, and the elders see the wisdom.

Our trip to date, has taken us through some foreboding milestones: up the thirty-six locks of the Tardebigge flight; through several spookily long tunnels; across some dauntingly high aqueducts; a little bit of Birmingham and the notorious “Wolverhampton 21”; the Shropshire Union and onto the Llangollen canal in north Wales. All of which were wonderful experiences and are now fond memories.

Autumn and nature's last flourish have served up a most spectacular palette of colours and when the mercury dropped, the frozen “Golly” left us basking with a raging log fire and clear blue skies with fabulous vistas. She has shown us the merit of being out on the cut in the cold and we agree with our fellow boaters who prefer the more peaceful winters on the cut without the lunatic fringe on their one-week binge.

autumnal colours

wonderful skies

Though having worked for a hire boat company, I had much empathy for these adventure seekers. Watching them during their boat introduction, politely nodding with their newly acquired captains’ hats, then gingerly negotiating their way out of the marina. Prior to ripping off their shirts and cracking open the booze whilst getting their craft up to warp speed ready to clatter everything on their merry way.

But this playful corruption of an observation can be more insightful... How else do hard working holiday makers manage their downtime? Other than to chuck some clothes in a bag, slam the boot on the car and tear-arse it up the M40, just to slow down their fuel injected lifestyles for a week on the water.

Maybe this yarn is more about navigating life rather than a boat. How one interprets the fundamentals and expectancies of being an upstanding member of society and dedicating ambition to correspond with the indoctrination of authority. Should government philosophy dictate our work ethic and a 40-hour 5-day week, just to spend the ensuing 30 something years trapped on the financial hamster wheel with annual sojourns of piracy and debauchery on our inland waterways.

Or can one relinquish Friday’s gin fizz, Tom Ford, Vorsprung durch Technik for a more sedate life?

Cruising through our shallow waters and deepest thoughts with the time to enjoy them. This choice is not some poetic idyl, there are always jobs to do on a boat and it comes with a diverse set of risks that some may consider reckless. One needs to get down and dirty; it is a frugal existence as we manage our resources and utilise the opportunities when they arise. Be it emptying the loo or topping up the water, foraging or shopping, cleaning, or fixing, making the most of the weather and living on the cut requires a love of nature and the outdoors. But giving up much and sacrificing luxuries for a life aboard is precious and the rewards reveal themselves and life evolves in a different spectrum.

characters of the cut

Because the people who choose this way of life do so for a myriad of reasons. Most have unusual back stories and have tested the constricts imposed on us by our puppet masters. One finds higher incident rates of free radicals bouncing their take on life around the fire. You hear the wackiest ideas and fascinating life stories when engaging with the “Characters of the Cut”.
There exists an acceptance and friendship in this gentle, open-minded community with the understanding and time to support and a desire to pool skills and resources.

There isn’t any need to rush, to achieve and prove oneself has all but evaporated and stress eludes us. Occasionally we hear the hum of a near-by motorway or a dashing siren, but they serve as reminders of what we left behind. The greatest gift this life-choice provides is a slow tranquillity and peaceful priceless moments.

In life, there are more answers than there are questions; But whomever we are, and by whichever means we skid into our grave… our experience of life is a most important question!

frozen canal boats