I've got boater's hair
And I think I know why
There's no power for my straighteners
Don't recall my last blow dry

I can't get a comb through it
With all my boater's knots
I'm unable to make a decision
Go shaven or get dreadlocks??

Too embarrassed to visit a salon
It's matted with leaves and hedge
I've no particular style
I'm hardly cutting edge

I disguise it well with plaits
Or put it in a messy bun
With it piled high upon my head
I look all but sugar spun

I've overdosed on dry shampoo
I only wash it once a week
It resembles candy floss
With my Regency powder technique

The colour's 50 shades
But I can't put a dye upon it
For fear of polluting the cut
What I need is a hand maid's bonnet

I'm in desperate need of a trim
Splitting ends are running rife
But who cares what you look like?
Such is a boater's life