It's come around again
The time to change the bedding
We put it off for as long as we can
It's a job that we've been dreading

We all like a crisp clean bed
But now we've a crispier kind
With linen beyond its best before
In our dirt we are entwined

Our bed butts up to the window
It's fixed against the wall
It makes it difficult to change
And this is why we stall

We're avoiding the acrobatics
of replacing the fitted sheet
They must shrink with every wash
because the corners barely reach

It's a military operation
As we go in for the kill
One lays on the bed like a starfish
The other tucking with a will

The activity is quite exhausting
due to the little amount of space
what with oxygen levels falling
and a mattress in your face

Next comes the duvet and cover
It's a dangerous undertaking
Like squashing a jack in a box
When it keeps on self inflating

We use the outside in method
Hands in and invert it over
Popping the press studs frantically
Looking for bedding closure

And when the deed is done
And we are all done in
We've forgot the pillow cases
Sod that we can't be bothered!